Top 8 Video Game Innuendos
This one doesn't take a lot of thought to figure out. Regardless, it gets points for following the title closely. You rack up sticky balls to solve puzzles, shoots balls into each other, maneuver balls. Lots of things with balls. Sticky balls. Not particularly clever, but if you're a middle school boy it gets the job done.
Damn! I guess someone took too much viagra. Never Soft is not a game, but rather a subsidiary of Activision that developed Guitar Hero. Not only are they Never Soft (as in Always Hard), but their logo features and eye ball scepter. You know, like the one eyed monster.
A maniacal pencil goes on a destructive rampage... well sort of. In this Sega game characters play side scrolling adventure levels and puzzle levels where you often draw with Woody. Wild Woody is in fact the name of the pencil who stars in the game, but it can also refer to the friend in your pants who wants to come out to play.
It's a bad ass on a motor cycle. You know with that buffed out bod he can really go full throttle. Sadly, in this dialog driven game, motorbike maven Ben never gets to go full throttle. But not all games can be Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
There's nothing remotely dirty about the title, but if you're appropriately aggressive during the race things can get pretty freaky. First there's grindin'. Then there's rubin'. And if you're really nasty, you might land a vertical takedown.
Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters
At first Ratchet and Clank was just a really cute game with a little bit of homo-erotic subtext. But I read A Separate Peace in high school, and I get it. They're really just friends. Right. Even though Ratchet carries around a giant wrench while clank rides on his back. Although you'd really think Ratchet would be the one on top...
Size Matters is another not particularly clever stab at innuendo, but classics work for a reason. The tagline even boasts “Small Enemies. Big Trouble.” I'm sure that over time the trouble gets bigger too.
There's a hot girl on the poster who looks turned on. If I need to explain it further than that then this article is a bit too mature for you. Wet is an “acrobatic shooter” whose main character Rubi can regain health from drinking whisky. So she's drunk and horny you say. Then why am I still playing this game with both hands?
Metal Gear Solid- Series
First there's Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake. Then there's Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. Then there's Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes.
I don't know how Konami can get away with a stealth game when they name their main character “Solid Snake.” I think this guy would and should be laughing day in and out at his ridiculous code name. Solid Snake has to be the most ridiculously obvious sexual innuendo ever. And then they name one of the sequel's Snake Eater! I never stopped laughing.
Snake is even a character is Super Smash Brothers Brawl. When Brawl addicts talk about their Snake skills they say things like “Oh man you should have seen my Snake. I gave that other guy some pounding.”
How am I supposed to keep a straight face through that!