Crispy Gamer

Review: Portal 2

Does this one really need a full review?  Portal 2 is a great game.  So just buy the damned thing.

Bam!  Easy review; cash in the bank.  Moving on now…

(No.  Do the review.  –Ed.)

Ok ok, fine!

Portal 2 is the sequel to Valve’s 2007 hit Portal which came as part of The Orange Box bundle which I’m fairly sure most people initially purchased for either Team Fortress 2 or Half-Life 2: Episode 2.  Portal was a pleasant little puzzle game that placed players in the fall cushioning springy shoes of Chell, a jumpsuited gal who has found herself trapped within the massive and dangerous halls of Aperture Science Labs.  Egged on by the insane AI GLaDOS (who comes across as Hal’s snarky little sister), Chell was forced to endure an insane obstacle course of physics puzzles that were solvable only with the assistance of a quantum tunneling device known as the Portal Gun. 

By firing the Portal Gun at walls, players could create physical portals between distant points which acted as physics defying wormholes.  The momentum of objects passing remained as they passed through portals, allowing Chell to fall a great distance into one portal, and then be fired out of its counterpart at the same speed.  The game was somewhat short, though it included Advanced Chambers. These challenging maps could be played apart from the game’s main campaign and they helped flesh out the gameplay some.  The game performed well, selling around four million copies before it went up for sale on Steam.  Portal’s story ended with Chell apparently destroying GLaDOS and escaping to the surface, only to be dragged away by an unknown assailant. Aperture Science is a massive underground facility akin to the Cube labyrinth from the Cube movies.

101 Yeah yeah, “the cake is a lie,” fine. The joke is now officially dead.

Portal 2 has Chell awakening after hundreds of years trapped in an Aperture Science stasis chamber, only to find that facility has fallen to ruin with plants growing throughout the facility.  Guided by Wheatley, a somewhat klutzy personality core (eye-shaped computer) voiced by British comedian Stephen Merchant, Chell seeks to escape the ruins of Aperture Science, and in the process GLaDOS is accidentally resurrected.  At that point, hilarity ensues.  Portal gave players nineteen puzzle rooms to work through as well as a lot of maintenance tunnels filled with dangerous industrial equipment.  While fun, it was also unfortunately short.  Portal 2 fixes that by providing a much longer experience.  The single player campaign takes Chell through four versions of Aperture Science and brings her in contact with Portal 2’s biggest new addition, gel.  Introduced as a failed experiment, these liquids drastically alter the game world by changing the nature of any surface they’re sprayed across.  Blue Repulsion Gel acts like Flubber, allowing Chell to bounce violently across it, red Propulsion Gel speeds her movement up, shooting her across the level, and white Conversion Gel allows portals to be placed on any surface it covers. 

102 It’s like Flubber, but only if Flubber was also a carcinogen.

Portal 2 also introduces Cave Johnson, the eccentric billionaire, science advocate, and founder of Aperture Science.  With a personality that’s a cross between Steven Colbert and Dr. Benton Quest (the dad in Johnny Quest) Cave’s interaction with Chell is mainly in the form of ancient prerecorded messages that play throughout the certain levels of the game (much like GLaDOS’s interactions with Chell). Like GLaDOS, most of Cave’s lines are both disturbing and hilarious, with many of them either displaying Cave’s utter lack of scientific understanding, or telling the tragic story of Aperture’s rise and fall. While the writing is great, what really brings Cave to life and makes the long dead inventor a winner is the voice of J. K. Simmons. While you may remember J. K. Simmons from shows like Law & Order and Oz, he also played J. Jonah Jameson in the Spiderman movies. Early rumors had Cave actually replacing GLaDOS as Portal 2’s main omnipresent voice in charge of egging Chell on. Having played Portal 2, I actually think I would have preferred it that way. While I would have missed the entertainment value of GLaDOS’s return, I can honestly see J. K. Simmons carrying an entire game all on his own.  

103 Science doesn’t come from the brain! It comes from the gut!* *For examples, please Google “Russian space program disasters.”

Normally, I hate co-op gameplay. Aside from a few exceptions, I normally see any sort of multiplayer mode as a waste of precious developer resources that would have been better spent on either refining the core game, or providing more single player levels. However, Portal 2 is one of those rare cases where I have to admit that I was wrong. In addition to the single player campaign, Portal 2 also comes with a rather addictive co-op mode that places players in control of Atlas and P-body, a pair of robot test subjects.

Rather than have players fighting each other deathmatch style, Portal 2’s co-op mode makes players work together to complete some of the hardest puzzles in the game. Part of what makes these rooms so damned difficult to complete is the fact that even with voice chat turned on (which is built into the game) it’s damned near impossible to describe the solution to a complex physics puzzle to another person without the aid of a dry erase board. To ease this burden, the developers provided players with incredibly handy flags. With the tap of a button, you can mark spots in the game world, or set count down timers. These allow you to, once completely frustrated with your friend’s utter idiocy and failure to understand what you mean by “place one portal on the widdershins side of the rotating platform and then shoot that hanging thing as you fall”, simply mark the spots where you think the portals should go. I was disappointed that I could not choose which robot I got to play as (its random each time you start a co-op game), but I was thrilled by the fact that the game saves your progress every time you complete a room. That way, rather than being forced to replay through all 5 co-op courses every time, you can quickly log on and play a room or two with a friend after you get home from work before life’s other demands require your attention.

There has been a bit of fan anger regarding the co-op mode though. By completing certain achievements, players can unlock hats, skins, and flags with which to adorn their little robot avatars, much like in Team Fortress 2. What has pissed some gamers off is that these embellishments are ridiculously expensive with the entire set costing $85.64 (though it’s only $34.99 at the moment). New skins generally run at $4.99 each, hats at $2.49, flags at only $0.99, and a pair of safety glasses which will run you $7.49. I would like to point out that REAL safety glasses can be bought for almost half that price. As these items really don’t have any effect on the game, I can’t help find myself not giving a damn about the backlash over their existence. What does annoy me though, is that you can also purchase new gestures (interactions your robot does to show off, like high fives and waving) in the game’s store for about $1.99 each.

104 Robots can feel love, but hugs cost extra.

At $49.99 in the Steam store, some buyers might feel a bit gypped as the game is somewhat short. Then again, the original Portal currently costs about $9.99 on Steam, and I can easily see Portal 2 having at least 4 times the amount of content as Portal had. So all in all, I don’t exactly feel cheated. Portal 2’s available on PC, PS3 and Xbox 360, so no worries there. However, PC and PS3 owners are in for a treat as Portal 2 is the first game to use the new PS3 Steam software. This means PS3 and PC owners get cross-platform matchmaking, gameplay, chat and achievements/trophies.

Portal 2 is a damned fine game and it’s nonviolent, challenging and addictive gameplay should appeal to the majority of gamers. There’s currently not a demo, but for ten bucks you can probably pick up a copy of Portal from somewhere and that would essentially serve the same purpose while providing you with a great game at the same time. That aside, my advice is that if you haven’t already, you should go out and Buy It.


I am so hooked up with this game that I wasn't even aware that I was playing for 10 hours straight. I really should mind my playing habits with this game because this game is so immersive that you can totally forget about the world. It's that good I guess.


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Masa osobników frapuje się, co istnieje pozycjonowanie elementem liquidu / kartridży, który wykorzystują elektroniczne skręty (e-papierosy). Zasadniczą substancją istnieje glikol propylenowy. Istnieje owo organiczny związek sztuczny spośród zgrupowania gazów. Bezbarwna, tłusta płyn, o słodkawym posmaku. Związek logistyka  nie stanowi trujący, a dzięki niewłasnym własnościom stanowi nieraz używany w medycynie. Spotkamy go w jedzeniu, syropach na kaszel, oraz nawet paście aż do zębów azaliż nieraz płynie aż do przepłukiwania ust. Na wyrobach jadalnych jest znaczony jak RFID E1150. Glikol propylenowy nie figuruje w spisie substancji niewiarygodnych aktualnie aktualnym w Polsce. Drugie czynniki owo akcesoria smakowe, czasami gliceryna tudzież bez wątpliwości nikotyna,jaka nie występuje w każdej wersji kartridża – można nabyć wkłady jej odebrane. Na ogół bez pary wkład mieści od chwili 6 do 36 mg nikotyny na ml. Elektroniczne niedopałki (e-papierosy) można nabyć dodatkowo z różnorodnymi zdaniami.

Is there a strategy guide that I can buy for this game so that I could refer to it in case I am stuck in some levels? It has been happening to me already for several times and I can't sleep during those times I wasn't able to figure out what to do. Or is it okay to just ask a question directly here? 

Portal 2 is actually insanely difficult at least for me because of the kind of puzzles it presents. I have been having sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do, but I guess this game is not for me. I have been stressed so much with the puzzles here.  

If you are looking for a really challenging puzzle game that will drive you nuts, Portal 2 should be on your collection. It will keep you coming back for more once you solve the different mysteries. More updates are coming soon so watch out for it.

If you are looking for a game that will give you at least hundreds of hours of challenging gameplay, this one is for you. Believe me, it will bend your mind to the max as you try to find your way through the difficult puzzles. Don't say I didn't warn you.


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This game is a bit expensive for my budget, but I still tried to avail of this because I thought it will all be worth it. I am glad I did because I am having the time of my life playing it and time flies so fast. I like how it challenges me and get me to think my way through all the puzzles. iHub Solutions Hong Kong

At first I thought this game was trash because it didn't involve any action and it also looks like a game for children. But when I first tried it, I was instantly hooked and before I knew it I was already playing for like 5 hours straight. It is a truly immersive gaming experience and it redefines the meaning of addictive gameplay.


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You can easily be confused with this game if you don't get the concept. If you want to beat the game, you need to be focused on the puzzles as they can make your mind spin around all over the place. If all else fails, you can just check out a walkthrough online and learn how you can get over the hurdles.


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The graphics are quite similar with Half-Life 2 and I must say it is stunning.  As for the puzzles, I find it a little bit difficult since this is the first time I am playing a game of such theme.  I'm getting the hang of it slowly though, and hopefully I'll finish the game in the next couple of days.

I love playing online games but you have to restart everytime you want to play in most games, what are some games that you can save where you are and then go back to it for online games? Please help!

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The portal design is good and i must say that it is one of the must play games of the season.


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I am such a huge fan of this game so much. So much that you can get from this great game. I definitely recommend it so much. Keep up the good work by the creator here.

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Portal 2's additional gameplay elements, like light bridges, lasers, and the gels, were praised as appropriate additions to the game. Furthermore, the reviewers were pleased with the level of difficulty of the puzzles throughout the game, appearing visually complicated at first but with uncomplicated solutions. -Reputation Repair

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Preston... Stop introducing yourself in your comments. It's weird. Also, Chase, dude... becareful commenting on your own reviews... it feels... how do I put this. Forced. And now I realize I sound like a nit pickin' dick. Yay me! :D I'm now a reviewer! (I love you guys. No homo.)


Very true. The Co-op levels provide way too many opertunities to kill off your parter, both on purpose and accidentally. And it's really hard to convince someone that you accidentally dropped them in a grinder after you did it on purpose in the last level.

Good game, I played co-op with Chase. The urge to kill your partner at least once per level can be overwhelming! Great game! Good Review! I'm Preston Slaton, signing off.


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