Corpse Run 186: Artfully awkward
In addition to cubing it up when I’m taking the train, I’ll often take out a notebook and doodle people. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the straphanger I’m drawing doesn’t notice or care. Every once in a while, however, some variation of the above happens.
I’m making so many friends in the city, aren’t I?
So, I detailed my experience with cooking attempting to cook liver a week or two ago, and to recap: it didn’t go well. This past weekend I had gone on a little ski trip with some of my super awesome camp counselor friends. Normally when we gather at camp we’ll head into town to eat. This time around, it was up to each of us to make food for the entire weekend.
Jen, the most organized of our troupe, made a Google docs list of all the foodstuffs we needed. It was up to everyone to sign up to cook a specific dish. Naturally, I waited until the day before to take a look.
One item remained.
Now, this might not come as much as a surprise, but vegetables don’t often make their way into my diet. Shocker, I know.
When shopping for fruits and vegetables, people always seem to know exactly what they’re looking for; shoppers carefully examine produce, turn it over, side to side, etc. in order to pick out the best… broccoli… of the bunch.
I have no idea what to look for. I stared at a wall full of broccoli for ten minutes without moving a muscle. Deciding that I was taking to damn long, I reached out, grabbed a stalk, and was about to put it in my bag when suddenly my brain started spazzing out.
What if this stalk is bad? How do I know if it’s bad? It’s green, that means it’s rotten, right? That’s stupid, broccoli is supposed to be green. Well, what’s up with all these leaves? I never see any leaves like this on broccoli during the holidays. I guess they get cut off before cooking? Oh god, I’ve been holding the same piece of broccoli for a while now. What if people are staring at me? WHAT IF I LEFT THE OVEN ON?
I then pretended to carefully analyze the broccoli by looking at it inquisitively while examining it from every possible angle for a few moments, and then placed it my bag.
This process repeated for my purchases of spinach, mushrooms, and peppers, as well as selecting a bottle of “extra” virgin olive oil, which I assume means virgin olive oil that had never heard of rule 34.
Anyways, the lasagna actually came out totally awesome, much to my surprise.