Crispy Gamer

?Welcome to the King of Iron Fist!?: Somewhat Drunken Kung-Fu

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Fry It or no, I’m going to be playing Tekken 6.

I’ve played it since college and it’s too late to back out now. Elsewhere, I’ve compared fighting franchise loyalties to allegiance to a political party. Getting me on KOF or Street Fighter would be akin to asking a Republican congressman to sign off on health care reform. The last Tekken game would blurt out the phrase in this post’s title when the character select screen opened up and it’s always stuck with me. It’s always been a bit weird to have a super-friendly announcer welcome you to a brutal bare-knuckle fighting tournament, but that’s the least bizarre thing about Tekken. Anyhoo, I’m planning on using these “Welcome to the King of Iron Fist!” posts to be an informal journal of my progress in all things Tekken 6.

Tekken 6 Diary: 11-6-09, 1:15 am

Fight Record: 30-10 right now.
Rank: 1st kyu

Every first Friday of the month, John Teti hosts a stand-up comedy showcase called John Teti’s Nite of Laffs. Myself and several other Crispy folks were in attendance and much hilarity was on display. After that, Teti and I enjoyed some ramen at Menkui-Tei in NYC’s East Village, where he told me the correct way to say fried chicken in Japanese. John didn’t feel like drinking alone so I ordered a small bottle of sake. I pretty much drank the entire thing by myself and was well tipsy by the time I got home. Despite the fact that it was after midnight, I decided to fire up the PS3 for a few quick Tekken bouts. Right now, I’m choosing not to play with voice chat. I’m letting Lei Wu Long’s fists do all the talking. I probably would’ve slurred my words anyway. [more]


First match was an unranked Quick Match against a Steve Fox fighter. The British boxer’s always been a character that’s been for tough for me to fight because his moves look like they’re going to hit high but he’s got an surprising arsenal of low strikes. I go down two rounds to none very quickly. This ain’t looking good. It doesn’t help that this guy’s spamming the same attacks over and over again at me. I tend to rely on Lei Wu-Long’s ability to shift stances but this guy keeps hammering at me. Tons of lag don’t help either. I finally decide to open the rounds with a different attack than I’d used before and come back to win the series 3-2. I feel pretty proud of myself for taking away a match that was pretty much won already.

Next up is a ranked match. It’s my first one and I’m a little worried about starting out with a loss. My opponent has the Japanese sound effects enabled so I’m assuming he’s on the other side of the world. He’s using Lili, who I always call the Paris Hilton of Tekken. Suffice it to say, I really hate her. The guy’s really aggressive on offense, so I lean on my block and wait for his patterns to emerge. He favors Lili’s jumping double somersault kick, which leaves her back facing me. I use the split-second opening that gives me to my advantage. I get a little cockier in round three and try to pull off some of Lei’s flashier moves. That’s a bad idea that gets me very close to losing the round. Nevertheless, I win three straight and call it a night.

Fooling around in the menus shows me that Ranked Matches get recorded, so I review the one that just ended. As I watch, it dawns on me that there’s no slo-mo or editing options in the Replay mode. This lack of tools comes as a major bummer after having spent a chunk of time creating my own highlights in Fight Night Round 4. The Namco powers-that-be would do well to create a editing suite, especially since the rabid Tekken fan base would probably eat it up.