Crispy Gamer

TGS 2009: Teti and Jones Eat Curry, Set Tokyo Rice Record

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Yesterday Teti and I decide to combat our hangovers from John Riccardi's Eight-Four party Tuesday night (WE MET SUDA-51; SUCK ON THAT MASTRAPA HA HA HA HA HA!!!) by having curry.

We take two seats at the counter. Teti speaks Japanese, so he does the ordering for us. My way of ordering is to point at the photograph of an item on a menu, then start praying very hard that whatever it is is somewhat delicious.

As he's ordering curry for us, telling the counter girl in Japanese what we want, he stops and looks at me and says, "She wants to know how much rice we want."

Jones (hungover): "I want a lot of rice."

Teti: (Something in Japanese to counter-girl.)

Counter-girl: (Something in Japanese to Teti.)

Teti: (Something more in Japanese to counter-girl.)

Once she's gone, I ask him what that exchange was all about.
"When I told her how much rice we wanted, she said, 'Wow, that's a lot of rice.' I told her to bring it to us anyway."
We immediately begin making jokes about this moment (and we will continue to make jokes about it for the rest of the day), reenacting this exchange:
Girl voice: Well, that's a lot of rice.
Us: JUST BRING IT TO ME, WOMAN. DON'T TELL ME HOW MUCH RICE IS "TOO MUCH." YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT INCREDIBLE RICE-CONSUMING SKILLS WE POSSESS.
US: [Laughter]

A few minutes later two dishes the size of Russell Crow's shield in Gladiator emerge from the kitchen.

"Oh no," Teti says. "She was right. This certainly is a lot of rice."
We both start to work at our plates of curry and million pounds of rice.
A few minutes later:


Teti: I'm so full already that I'm ready to burst. But I can't leave all this rice here. I won't give her the satisfaction!
I won't!

Jones: Me either!

We eat on. And on.

We both continue to eat well past the point of any of this being remotely pleasurable.
We both do a decent job of consuming our giant rice-curry piles; Bishibashi champion Teti does slightly better than I do (winner: Teti).

Other running joke for rest of the day that makes us both laugh every time even after the hundredth time of repeating it: That as soon as we leave the curry shop, they post a sign in the front window that says CLOSED - SORRY NO RICE.