Crispy Gamer

An Interview with Dry Bones, The Most Interesting Person at GDC

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The oddly dressed man pictured  above was a constant pressence on the street corner between the North and West halls of San Francisco's Moscone Center during GDC 2009. The thousands of people passing by couldn't help but notice his loud, paranoid ramblings, which I found distrubingly reminiscent of those of many of San Francisco's real homeless population. Even though I knew he was probably just promoting another alternate reality game that I'd never have time to really get into, I couldn't resist the urge to interview this odd character. Below is our conversation, recreated from my rough notes and memories.

Me: Hello.
Dry Bones: Hi, Dry Bones. *He shakes my hand* So let me tell you about... shit there he is...
*He hides behind a lamppost*
Me: There who is?
Dry Bones: *Points at a random person waiting to cross the street* Do you see that person in the brown jacket?
Me: *squinting* Yes...
Dry Bones: He's with the Jejune Institute. They've infiltrated the entire conference. They crush up poly rock and put it in those lunches they've been handing out on the second floor. It opens up something in the brain that makes it more receptive to their frequencies.
Me: I ate one of those lunches today. Should I be worried?
Dry Bones: They've set up a temporary... shit... hold on.
*He runs off to a nearby tree and adjusts what looks like a webcamera haphazardly tied around one of the branches*
Dry Bones: *To passersby* Don't worry, we'll be up and running in just a second folks!
*He runs to a nearby lampost, and adjusts another device hanging on it.*
Dry Bones: You may feel a small psychic jolt. Get ready!
*No one appears to feel anything at all. He comes back to talk directly to me.*

 

Dry Bones: They also put poly rock in that energy drink, so don't drink it! *He points towards a drink sitting on the ground, surrounded by a chalk circle with an arrow labeled "poison"* They're also giving away green buttons up on the second floor. And 3D glasses: they have a chip in the right eye that has a tracking device that tells them when you are when you're at home, and that's when they really get you...
Me: *Noticing a red bell hanging around his neck* Why does your bell say Midway.com on it?
*He breaks into a self-conscious laugh for the briefest of moments, then falls back into character seamlessly*
Dry Bones: Members of our group, Elsewhere Public Works, are pretending to be with Midway so we can get to the conference and observe the institute. We give them out to people to aid in our fight. The Jejune Institute hates the sound of bells. They can't stand it. You might see people scatter when you ring the bells; they're members of the Jejune Institute.
Me: So you don't work for Midway?
Him:
Definitely not.
Me:
Can I take some pictures of your set up?

Him:
Yeah, but I can't show my face in pictures.

Me:
Good luck.
Dry Bones: *To the crowd* Do away with the Jejune!