To today’s parents video games are the new Rock ‘n Roll

That’s how Stamford, CT., psychologist Eric Schleifer described them in a discussion with 50 parents about video games recently. This forum, called “Using Video Games to Your Advantage: A Parent’s Guide,” was co-sponsored by Wilton Parent Connection, the Wilton PTA Council, the Wilton Youth Council, and the Wilton Library.

The forum proved what kids already know and what kids our generation and every other generation before it endured: parents don’t always understand the culture kids are immersed in and its importance. In this generation parents don’t understand their kids’ fascination with games and, because of the media’s portrayal of them as being violent and catalyst for laziness and unhealthy behavior, often feel like video games are dangerous or at the very least, an unnecessary distraction. Schleifer compared gaming to rock music and comic books, both thought to be somehow evil or a waste of time by our parents and the parents of our parents.

 Listening to the comments of the parents that attended this discussion, you can see that this comparison is apropos. “As parents we think, ‘what a waste of time,‘” one mother said. Another mother said that she had video games as a child but still went outside and played with her friends. A father expressed concern that video games are important to his children at all. Another mother was “disturbed” by a conversation amongst six teenage boys in her car: “I thought they were going to talk about sports and girls,” she said. “All they talk about is what level they’re at.”

But the forum wasn’t about bashing gaming or kids that are immersed in that culture: the message was “parents must accept that video games are part of today’s culture before they can effectively regulate their children’s gaming habits.”

Schleifer also pointed out to parents that it is wrong to dismiss accomplishments kids make in video games - something parents seem to do without thinking much about it. If your child got an A on a test or scored a touchdown, you would certainly heap praise on such accomplishments, but not so much with video games.

“Would you dismiss that?” Schleifer asked the group. “The more you can join them [in their passions] the more it means they’ll share other passions [with you] later on.”

But he also agreed that, in understanding the culture of video games just a little bit, it will go a long way in regulating how much time kids spend playing them. Setting a limit on the amount of time spent gaming is also a chance for open negotiations between children and parents, noted Schleifer, although parents need to be resolute on the limits they do set and enforce them consistently.

Another surprising thing, at least coming from a psychologist these days when it comes to the subject of video games, is that Schleifer doesn’t like to use the term “addiction.” Rather he believes that kids have a hard time pulling away from video games once they are immersed in them - but that’s what parents are for.

“What you’re trying to do is teach them how to manage their own lives,” he said.

Finally, it should be noted that Schleifer is familiar with “Grand Theft Childhood,” and mostly agrees with its findings. He believes that parents do themselves a disservice if they think of games as the enemy. “Video games are a prime motivator,” he said. “They are effective. They are better than candy. They are better than gold. You have an opportunity to get the kids to do their homework. You have an opportunity to get them to do their chores, and also to enjoy themselves.”

Source: Stamford Times