Ready 2 Rumble Revolution (Wii)

This revolution should not be televised.
3/25/2009 5:03 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 2

The long history of boxing is riddled with once-great fighters who decided to come out of retirement and attempt one more shot at stardom. From Joe Louis and Muhammad Ali to Sugar Ray Leonard and -- now -- Oscar De La Hoya, fighters who should have stayed outside the ropes have wandered back in only to get their bodies and their pride pummeled. Now fans of videogame boxing can experience that same sad feeling that fans of the actual sport have felt when a former great laces them up one too many times. Atari tosses its roster of whacked-out pugilists back into the ring in Ready 2 Rumble Revolution and what was once such a kick on the then-cutting-edge Dreamcast becomes an incredible drag on the now-cutting-edge Wii.

Because of the funkiness of the Wii's controls, there have been more than a few attempts to bring the Sweet Science to Nintendo's console. The system shipped with boxing as a part of Wii Sports and there was a boxing component to Wii Fit. As far as standalone games go, there has been no shortage of contenders that have vied for the title. Victorious Boxers: Revolution, Showtime Championship Boxing and Facebreaker K.O. Party, though, have all lost by unanimous decision. I had high hopes for Ready 2 Rumble Revolution, but the thing seems flawed almost from the opening bell.

The game suggests that you open things up in the tutorial mode to get a feel for the way the controls work. I'm glad I started there, because it immediately gave me a feel for just how clunky and unresponsive the controls actually are. The game's controls are meant to simulate the way you'd actually throw a punch. Shoot either fist straight out for a jab, bring your fist across to throw a hook, bring it up to throw an uppercut. On paper, it makes a lot of sense. On-screen, it's another story. Even in the tutorial mode, where your opponent wasn't throwing any leather back at you, it was still far too difficult to throw punches correctly -- or sometimes to throw them at all. Too many times you'd move the controller and nothing would happen. I know how to use a Remote and Nunchuk, so the game's profound lack of responsiveness was as frustrating and disheartening as shelling out $49.95 to your cable company for a lackluster and one-sided pay-per-view title fight.

Heck -- and that's just the tutorial. Once you get in the ring against live competition, the glaring controller issues get magnified even greater. This isn't a boxing game in the Fight Night mode. It's not a tactical battle between two highly trained and athletic strategists. It's arcade action -- pure and simple. Yet this arcade action that was so much fun on the Dreamcast -- and reasonably fun in a PlayStation 2 sequel -- gets drained of all joy when you're armed with a Remote and Nunchuk. Fighting is a nonstop game of hit-or-be-hit. It's bell-to-bell flailing. But when you're being attacked with a constant barrage of punches and only about half of your punches are registering with the game's motion sensor, it's even worse than bringing a knife to a gunfight. It's like bringing mayonnaise to a gun fight. You have to try to throw punches twice as many times in order to match your opponent.