The DS version has tons of options. But the controls are bad.

On the debut of WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2009, I was thinking that the history of wrestling is steeped in so many stories that suck you in and don't let go. If you love soap opera-like narrative, you can move through a cooperative story mode in SVR 2009 that's full of twists and turns. But in the latest SmackDown commercial, the graphics showed realistic wrestling in the ring with human-like bodies and faces scrunching up in pain. There were no fireworks-filled entrances or puffery in the ad, just a voiceover touting cooperative play.

The latest game in THQ's SmackDown series is in fact rife with brand-new features, the most notable of which may be the ability to play online. Plus, there are new tweaks to the artificial intelligence, along with the you-make-it-raw Create-A-Finisher option.

But like Madden, Mortal Kombat and any other franchise that releases a new iteration each and every year, shouldn't there be something mo' better and utterly ooh-ahh in SmackDown vs. Raw? We're in the most foul, soul-sucking economic meltdown that most gamers have ever seen, and this is the 11th year in which THQ has foisted a wrestling game upon us -- this time, in seven formats (if you include the mobile phone version) -- so shouldn't there be more meat? Is it worth $30 for the DS version? Or should you just forego the experience altogether?

Mix-and-match and create your own personal wrestler.

In last year's DS game, you couldn't use the d-pad to move around the ring as you can this year, just the stylus; plus, the Career Mode was more like a weekend at wrestling camp, nothing too deep. But while SVR 2009 on the DS is somewhat better, it still doesn't score a pinfall in any sense of the word.

The undefeated, six-time champion Undertaker looks partially otherworldly, full of extraordinarily detailed tattoos -- even when the game takes out many, many pixels so it'll fit on the Nintendo DS handheld. The graphics that make up the wrestlers in the ring are grittily impressive (although the crowds in the backgrounds are horrid). And you have to like the fact that the game gets your yearning to play fast. There are no extended cut scenes, just the interface giving you many kinds of wrestling matches, venues and, of course, the 29 wrestlers.

The AI? You can fake out many of the Superstars who aren't in the Top 10. For instance, I used the d-pad to move out of Rey Mysterio's way when he was attempting anything -- from a grapple to a running move off the ropes -- and the dude never caught on. On the other hand, use a top sports entertainer like Triple H, and this won't happen. Often, he'll come right at you and cut off your escape if you try to move away from him.

But it's in the controls that SVR 2009 begins to fail badly. To make the simplest of moves, you have to really wail on the touch-screen. Get knocked down? You'll only get up if you move the stylus left to right on the touch-screen as if you're trying to erase a note from your office lover before someone on your team comes in to see it. You're supposed to begin a grapple by drawing a circle on the touch-screen, a good idea, but one that fails in execution. Half the time, drawing that circle did nothing for me.

The DS version has many Create-A-Finisher options.

Hey, it's a terrific concept to make use of the bottom screen: That's what the DS is all about. But the controls need to respond quickly and intuitively, which the game does not do. They've obviously spent a huge amount of time adding a lot of stuff into the game, even the very cool Create-A-Finisher. There's no Inferno match, which in my book should be included before all else, but seven others are here, like Ladder and Table matches. But when the controls are way funky, all of the window dressing is for naught. The bells and whistles don't make one bit of noise when the reason you're here to begin with feels daunting. It's just not easy to fight in the game, not at all.

And there's no Tag Team co-op mode, one of the most touted additions for the console and PSP versions. THQ is gloating about its new Tag Team Explosion feature, which does add variety and some unexpectedly thrilling moments. But it's not present in the DS version.

It?ll say a lot about you if you use that polka dot option.

The game just needs to be better designed. There's no play-by-play announcing and very little music -- often just the hollow noise of the crowd. It shouldn't sound like canned applause; it should be varied, since it's pretty much the only sound you hear in the ring. There's a tutorial mode, but it would have been smart to also allow a simple button-press to get a list of the over two dozen moves you must learn. You'll get only a few pop-ups to tell you about the controls. I'm not saying you have to be held by the hand to learn SVR 2009, but when the controls are so oddly balanced, an in-game tutorial in the first mode you see on the screen is essential.

Load times are a breeze, far quicker than in the PSP version. Though the graphics are more pixilated and less detailed than in the Sony handheld, the gameplay is almost as fast -- when it works properly, which isn't that often.

Even if these weren't different economic times, I'd Fry this game. It just doesn't work well enough. You'll be frustrated when you play, and you don't want to spend your hard-earned money just to be annoyed and irritated.

This review is based on a retail copy of the game provided by the publisher.