My, Grandma. What big teeth you have!

Some videogames revolutionize the industry or become the new benchmark for the genre, and are truly "legendary." On the other end of that spectrum, there is Legendary, the new first-person shooter from Spark Unlimited and Gamecock Media (now a part of SouthPeak Interactive).

You really don't want the prize in this cereal box.

The game begins at the tail end of professional thief Charles Deckard's latest job, a heist contracted by the obligatory "mysterious organization" known as the Black Order. Deckard has been hired to steal an artifact locked inside of an ancient box on display in a New York museum. What everyone failed to mention to the poor guy is that the box in question is Pandora's Box, and by opening the box, Deckard will release all manner of mythical creatures to wreak havoc on the modern world. Luckily for Deckard, the Box also brands his hand with an unusual symbol that grants him supernatural power and the ability to send the creatures packing back to wherever they came from, and to stop the Black Order from taking control of Box's power and ruling the world. This may look like it's got the potential to be a great story, but much like the rest of Legendary, it fails to live up to that potential.

From the very start, you can see Legendary coming apart at the seams. There's no real setup for the story; all you know is that you're trying to grab something and some British woman is chirping in your ear. Wow ... I'm sold already. During the obligatory tutorial level, the player learns the basic controls while rushing out of the museum to the wide-open streets of New York.

We tried to warn you this game was full of bull.

Did I say wide-open streets? Oh, if only that were the case. Instead, the minute you go outside, the attacking creatures trash nearby buildings and traffic, leaving a conveniently laid out path for the player that's barely the width of a person. Thankfully, it's not long before things open up a bit, and you can fit two people in the available space. There are plenty of games that guide players along a predetermined path, but at least in those games you don't feel like someone's behind you, pushing and screaming, "Keep the line moving!" I've played rail shooters that give you a better sense of freedom.

Things go from bad to worse. Nothing in the game makes the player feel any connection to Decker and his actions. Take any one of the numerous times that the player has to hack his way through a keypad lock. Without ever touching the keypad, Decker manages to blow the cover off and move two wires together to short out the lock. It's a small detail, but goes to show how disconnected the game is from the player.


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Polly wanna cracker?

The controls on the PlayStation 3 version of the game are tighter than they are on the 360, though they are still a bit touchy, making it difficult to aim. Okay, so the guy's a thief, not a sharpshooter, but this is overkill. Like the 360 version, the PS3 game also has more than its fair share of technical glitches, such as characters and objects getting stuck in the environment, weird visual gaffes as the game's engine tries to handle a variety of different simultaneous effects, and frame rate that can get bogged down to the point of looking like a glorified flipbook. The overall appearance is noticeably more polished on the PS3, but it's like the old saying goes: "You can polish crap all you want, but it's still a piece of crap."

This review is based on a retail copy of the game provided by the publisher.