The Simpsons Game (Xbox 360)

Double d'oh.
2/18/2008 12:00 AM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 2

It's not enough for Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie to simply star in a videogame. In this umpteenth attempt at making a Simpsons-centric game -- some were good, some were bad, some were really, really ugly (I'm looking at you, The Simpsons Wrestling) -- the Family Simpson must also know that they're starring in a videogame.

That's right: The most self-aware show on television gets an appropriately self-aware game. Within the first 10 minutes of gameplay, Homer and Bart stumble upon a videogame manual that is identical to the manual that comes packaged with the game, complete with the EA Games logo on the back cover.

By reading the manual, the family realizes that they possess superpowers, like Homer's "Homer Ball," Maggie's "Hand of Buddha" and Bart's "Bartman." The family roams Springfield in pairs. Characters can be swapped out at the town's bus stops, but for the most part you can only use two characters at a time (a few later levels do utilize all four). Flashing pillars of light à la Grand Theft Auto III guide you to your destinations. Step into the light, and the game's next mission begins.

The Simpsons Game does a great job of recreating a virtual Springfield, complete with familiar landmarks like Duff Brewery, Apu's Quik-E-Mart and even the Simpson family home. Fans of the show will likely get a kick out of simply wandering the streets and listening to the NPCs (non-playable characters) chatter.

The game's narrative consists of a series of discrete missions. For example, Lisa takes down one of Mr. Burns' environment-ravaging sawmills; Marge organizes an angry mob to protest the release of a violent videogame called Grand Theft Scratchy; Homer participates in an eating contest at Duff Brewery.

Sounds like fun, right? Well, it's not. Gameplay is standard-issue third-person action, complete with all the flaws of the genre, including sticky jump mechanics and a fussy, uncooperative camera. Beyond that, whatever fun I might have had with this game is further besmirched by ambiguous mission objectives resulting in some of the most frustrating try-and-die gameplay I've experienced in years.

Example: the aforementioned eating contest (the game calls it "Around the World in 80 Bites"). I was dropped, as Homer, into an arena with a half-dozen other characters. These characters were running around, grabbing food off the ground, and eating it as fast as possible. Unsure of what to do, I followed suit and did the same. A timer on the upper right-hand corner of the screen soon expired. Nelson appeared on the screen, delivered his infamous "HA-ha," then informed me that I sucked.

I tried a second time, this time transforming myself into the Homer Ball (right trigger), and wreaking havoc on the arena, smashing up caf&eacure; tables and KO'ing my opponents. Time soon expired yet again. Once again, I got the "HA-ha." Once again, I sucked.

Fast-forward through another 10 minutes of experimentation, and I finally figured out that I had to turn into the Homer Ball, head up a ramp, and rocket the Homer Ball across a gap and over a wall into another discrete arena.

Now, I've got nearly 30 years of gaming experience on my resume, and if I can't figure out where to go and what to do, lord help the more casual Simpsons fan who picks up the game in hope of a few chuckles over a lazy weekend.