Manhunt 2 (Wii)

All together now: We will, we will, shock you.
1/31/2008 12:00 AM | 0 Comments | Page 2 of 2

And those much maligned over-the-top kills have now been blurred out to such a degree that it's pretty much impossible to figure out what's happening on screen. Did we just kick a Hunter in the groin and then bash him with a toilet seat cover? Or did we knee him in the stomach, then whack him over the head with a crowbar?

If you care, and we mean really care, then you should probably stop reading this and go back to sewing your woman suit out of human skin. (It puts the lotion in the basket!)

Of course, since this is the Wii version, we were given the privilege of actually acting out our blurry death dealings thanks to the Wii's motion-centric controls. When prompts appear on screen -- jab the Wii remote forward! Now move the Nunchuck to the side! -- we got the chance to participate, first hand, in our those blurred-out, what-the-hell-is-happening kills.

Remember this date, folks, because this is the first killing mini-game in history. Take that WarioWare!

The Wii version has some unforgiveable problems. We could not for the life of us skip the game's tedious cut scenes. And with this being a stealth game, replaying sections was a given, and that means watching -- and re-watching -- the same poorly written/poorly acted cut scenes again and again.

In the year 2007, this kind of bullshit is simply unacceptable, Rockstar.

Beyond that, the A button on the Wii remote serves far too many functions. Not only does it initiate our stealth kills, but it also lets us scale fences, pick up bodies, use weapons, etc. During one unfortunate moment, while trying to initiate a stealth kill, we picked up a body instead. The Hunter whirled around to find us with one of his dead coworkers slung over our shoulder. We tried to lope away (carrying bodies makes you move more slowly) while trying to get this goddamn dead body off of us.

The result: dead. Which meant a restart. Which meant re-watching the godforsaken cut scene again.

Political statements and social commentary? Clearly, we were giving Rockstar far too much credit the first time around. What once seemed clever, gutsy and groundbreaking now seems banal, small and depressing.

Manhunt 2: We're sneaking up behind you, kicking you in the groin, and bashing you over the head with a toilet seat cover. Or maybe we're kneeing you in the stomach and then whacking you with a crowbar.

Either way, you're done for.

Verdict: Avoid at all costs.

This review was based on a retail copy provided by the publisher.