Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (PC)

For those about to rock, the PC probably isn't the best way to do it.
1/30/2008 12:00 AM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 2

You'd have to try really hard to mess up Guitar Hero III, but the folks porting Guitar Hero III to the PC have done their level best. The core game is still great, even on a relatively small computer monitor instead of your television. The developers at Neversoft, taking over the series from creator Harmonix, do a (mostly) good job of introducing subtle improvements since Guitar Hero II, adding a few new features and working with an exciting song list, often with the participation of the original artists. But they also miss the point just a teensy bit. For better and worse, it's all part of Guitar Hero growing up. Too bad the series' transition to the PC isn't so smooth.

If you've been living in a cave, it's time to move out and tap into the phenomenon of Guitar Hero. No one -- and we mean no one -- has any business not playing a Guitar Hero. This isn't just a rhythm game set to popular music and featuring a guitar controller. It's an ode to rock, a paean to pop, a love letter to your favorite bands and a tribute to the interactive power of music. By pressing buttons and strumming the guitar controller in time with a scrolling series of notes, you enable the guitar track on the song. The illusion that follows is that you're the one playing. Of course, you probably knew this already and you just want to know what the deal is with this PC version. Fair enough.

Fans of the previous Guitar Heroes will note subtle improvements, like brightly lit notes for tricky hammer-ons and pull-offs. These alternate ways to hit a note separate the rock gods from the almost-famous, and they're much more user-friendly this time. Using your Star Power bonus doesn't jerk the fret board, which is something that happens only when you mess up a note. The "hit detection," if you will, seems a bit more forgiving this time around. Guitar Hero III doesn't want you to fail. It's on your side. If you get stuck, it even lets you skip the silly boss battles built into the campaign. The graphics are splashier and the character models are a lot more detailed, complete with some slightly creepy lip syncing to the songs. It's weird to hear recognizable voices coming from the grotesque caricature of Steven Tyler who stands in for all the lead male singers.

One step backward is Guitar Hero III's trashy stripper aesthetic. The new Judy Nails struts around, breast implants leading the way, more porn star than punker. During one encore, a pair of, umm, "exotic dancers" prance out onto stage and writhe while you play the song. They tag along when you play at the prison, where they dance inside cages. You'll also notice the currency for the online metagame is "groupies." Classy. Guitar Hero has, until now, been an un-cynical and affectionate game, conveniently overlooking the seedier side of rock. Neversoft seems not to have gotten that memo.

The loading screen comments are another sign of this. Whereas Harmonix treated you to humorous and insightful comments about band culture, Neversoft can't quite achieve the tone. During the loading screens, they're trying too hard to be funny, insulting you, or selling something (Guitar Hero III has its share of in-game ads, including ones from noted hard-rocking car makers Pontiac). Furthermore, the presence of Poison's Bret Michaels (looking slightly confused as to whether he's a member of an 80s hair band or the Village People), Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello (looking like some random auto mechanic who stumbled into the game), and Guns N' Roses' Slash (looking like Slash) snaps Guitar Hero out of its idealized world of fantasy rock into something a little less perfect and universal. This is what selling out looks like.