50 Things to Do in the Capital Wasteland

8/10/2009 8:33 AM | 6 Comments | Page 1 of 3

(Contributors: Gus Mastrapa, Russ Fischer)

Fallout 3 is a big game, crammed with content. Download all five add-ons, including the just-released Mothership Zeta, and the options can seem damn near daunting. Crispy Gamer sat down and brainstormed our 50 favorite off-the-beaten-path experiences in Fallout 3. The next time you load up your Fallout 3 save file and go looking for trouble, take this list of diversions, distractions and must-do moments along for inspiration.

Stomp a bug: Radroaches are nothing but pests. And by the time you've spent 30 levels in the Wasteland, they're also a waste of ammo. Next time you bump into a nest of the buggers, go unarmed and kick their butts via V.A.T.S. Watching your character crush the filthy things is way more satisfying than it ought to be. Cleaning your boots after you've had your fun? Not so much.
Where: All over the Capital Wasteland. If you want to be cruel, kill Fluffy and Jitters in the Abandoned Shack.

Kill the Overseer: The Grand Poobah of Vault 101 isn't exactly a nice guy. He's a bit of dick to you and your dad. And what he does to Jonas after Dad makes tracks is unforgivable. The guy is your best friend Amata's father, but to hell with that. He's an eavil jerk and needs to die. Before you leave Vault 101, be sure to put a bullet in the guy's brain.
Where: Vault 101.

Play hide-and-seek: There are tons of kids in the Capital Wasteland, but none are as fun to hang with as Kenny from Point Lookout. Get on his good side and he'll play a game with you. Tag is fun, but if you've got a Stealth Boy handy, try cheating at hide-and-seek. Maybe that's why people think the old mines are haunted.
Where: Herzon Mine (Point Lookout).

Loot the Naughty Nightwear: The Wasteland is crawling with pink Sexy Sleepwear, but there's only one place to grab this leopard-print negligee. Follow the Nuka Cola Challenge side-quest "Grady's Package" and you'll find these unmentionables stashed away for safekeeping. You'll also meet Lugnut -- a dude who covets these skivvies even more than you -- and his threatening lines may be some of the funniest in Fallout 3.
Where: Marigold Metro Station.

Be a samurai: Many play Fallout 3 with an eye on firearms, but putting points into your melee skills can be rewarding. There are tons of killer blunt instruments around the Wasteland, but things don't get really fun until your weapon and skills cause enough damage to cut down your enemies in a single slash. Try equipping a blade like the Chinese Officer's Sword or Jingwei's Shock Sword for close-quarters kills in V.A.T.S. Pair the player-crafted Shishkebab with the Pyromaniac perk for the most damage.
Where: All over the Wasteland; Operation: Anchorage.

Cosplay as Mad Max: You can't drive cars in Fallout 3, but you can dress up like everybody's favorite road warrior. Simply don the Leather Armor and accessorize the outfit with a Medical Brace. For weaponry, grab a Sawed-Off Shotgun or the Scoped .44 (the same gun wielded by the Humungus in "The Road Warrior"). [Thanks to ParkerFaker for these tips.]
Where: All over the Wasteland.

Nuke it from orbit: Megaton isn't the only town players can reduce to a smoking crater. Follow the Broken Steel quest line and eventually find yourself at a panel that controls a satellite missile system with targeting data for Rivet City, Project Purity, Megaton and the Citadel. We won't tell you what happens when you flip the switch. Just don't forget to get out of Dodge when you opt to destroy the Adams Air Force Base Platform. That's where you're standing.
Where: Mobile Base Crawler (Broken Steel).

Open a man with the Man Opener: Visit The Pitt and you'll find the Auto Axe all over the place, but the only named version of the weapon ignores damage resistance, making it particularly useful against up-armored enemies. The Man Opener can be found on a bed in the Supply Plant building accessible by the Pitt Steelyard. While you're out there, collect 10 Steel Ingots and give them to Everett in the Mill, and you'll earn Auto Axpert -- a perk that ups your damage with the Man Opener by 25 percent.
Where: The Supply Plant (The Pitt).

Mez someone: The Mezmetron is a nifty, non-lethal weapon that transforms human targets into babbling idiots. Once dazed you can kill them, talk to them, or slap a collar on them and sell them into slavery. Get the Mezmetron by starting the Strictly Business quest with Grouse.
Where: Paradise Falls.

Decorate your apartment: There are tons of little bits of functionality in Fallout 3 that are easy to miss. Don't spend time in the Wasteland without learning to click your right analog stick -- that's the way to pick stuff up and move it around the game world. Now, drop anything from your inventory, grab it, and put it on that bare shelf in your apartment. If you have extra caps you can pay Moira to do some interior decorating, but that's boring.
Where: Megaton; Tenpenny Tower.

Pick a fight with Fawkes: Of the many companions you may cross paths with in Fallout 3, Fawkes is the burliest. The easiest way to kill Fawkes is to exterminate him in his Vault 87 cell, but that's rather unsporting. Meet up with Fawkes later and put a couple rounds into his super-thick hide. Can you take the big doofus down?
Where: Raven Rock; Underworld.

Make a rad run: There are more than a couple places in the Capital Wasteland that have been rendered impassable by radiation. Most notable is Vault 87. If you were a jerk and killed Fawkes rather than set him free, you're gonna have to throw on an Advanced Radiation Suit, or chew some Rad-X, to get what you came for. Elsewhere, there's tons of great loot hidden where the Geiger counter gets noise. Poke around.
Where: Vault 87; all over the Wasteland.

Listen to Vinnie work blue: Earthlings don't take no mess. Especially Vinnie, the foul-mouthed abductee who tells his captors to "go back to Uranus." Vinnie can be heard by listening to Alien Captive Recorded Log 2.
Where: Cryo Lab (Mothership Zeta).

Hack the right way: There's a right way and a wrong way to hack in Fallout 3. The wrong way is to make blind stabs at a password, then try to reason your next best guess from the number of letters you got right. The right way is to first narrow your options. Move the cursor through the garbled text looking for open parentheses, brackets and carats. If there's a matching closer to the right of them, you can highlight the whole area and select to remove one of the dummy passwords or reset your number of guesses.
Where: All over the Wasteland.