The 11 Sports That Got Edited Out of Wii Sports Resort

The sequel to Wii Sports features 12 all-new sun-and-fun activities. But what of the ones that got left on Nintendo's cutting-room floor? CG reveals the Lost 11 (before Nintendo can repackage them as Wii Play 2).
7/27/2009 8:40 AM | 6 Comments | Page 1 of 2

(Contributor: M. Moleington III)

In our ongoing quest to win our industry's never-ending, spiritually exhausting, and really kind of silly WE WERE FIRST TO REPORT THIS SUCK IT EVERYONE ELSE WOOOOOO PWNED game, Crispy Gamer recently hired a Mole to infiltrate the mighty Nintendo empire.

This Mole didn't come cheap. After four months of sending us expense reports that consisted almost entirely of vague entries like "Natural Medicines ... $182," "Extra Blankets ... $441," "ChapStick ... $106" and "Bees ... $14," our investment, it seems, has finally paid off.

The Mole located several internal e-mail exchanges that revealed a list of the tropical-themed mini-games that were excised from Wii Sports Resort. This information is entirely exclusive to Crispy Gamer. Which is our way of saying WOOOO PWNED SUCK IT EVERYONE ELSE PWNED PNWED.

11. The sport: Marco Polo

How it works: The old swimming-pool chestnut gets a virtual reboot. The gamer selects his Mii, then dives into the shallow end of the resort pool. Hold the Wii Remote perpendicular to your television screen. Use a downward plunging motion to submerge your Mii. Then: Listen carefully. When you hear the word "Marco" coming from the tinny speaker on the Wii Remote, quickly lift the Wii Remote upward to bring your Mii to the surface. Once he has surfaced, the response "Polo" will be issued. Also available in split-screen multiplayer.

10. The sport: Let's See Who Can Hold His Breath Underwater the Longest

How it works: Another swimming-pool chestnut. Gamers can challenge up to three other Miis or, better still, B-level Nintendo characters like Lakitu and Toad to see who has the most lung capacity. But keep an eye on your Mii's face. If he should turn blue, that means that videogame death is imminent. Losers slowly float to the surface where the paramedic Miis can collect them. Winners get to sit on the bottom of the pool and gloat.

9. The sport: Tetherball Prime

How it works: Toss the "ball" into the air, then swing the Wii Remote to the side to get the tethered ball moving around the pole toward your opponent. Use the Z button to duck incoming returns; the C button pulls off reversals, but the timing -- as it is in the real game -- is tricky. The game features a clever multiplier system; any ball that smacks the opposing Mii in the face not only leaves a big, painful-looking pink mark on his visage for the duration of the game, it also triples your score.

8. The sport: Nude Beach Challenge

How it works: This on-rails peeper shuttles happy gamers through the underbrush near the Resort's nude beach. Hold the Wii Remote to your face like a pair of binoculars. When you spot a topless bather, press the A button to zoom in for a closer look. But look out for the security guard! If he spots you, you and your Mii will be dragged back to the Resort's security office. From there, your Mii's parents will be phoned.

7. The sport: Locate the Best Jet in the Hot Tub

How it works: By tilting the Wii Remote, you shift your submerged Mii's hips from side to side. Once you've located the Oh-God-That's-Good Zone, a series of increasingly difficult button-presses appears on the screen. Z, A, left, left, Z, B, etc. are needed to keep your Mii in the Oh-God-That's-Good Zone and maximize your final score.