"Mom, why do the kids at school make fun of me?"

"Aw, Billy, you sweetheart. Children can be so cruel. Maybe they're jealous of how smart you are, or, uh, the nice things you have -- like the Tandy Color Computer 2 and its fascinating games, like Biosphere!"

"But that doesn't make sense, Mom. A bunch of other kids are smarter than me, and everyone has a computer."

"Oh, for Pete's sake. Fine. You want to know why everybody hates you, Billy? It's because you wear a goddamn cape. I mean, really, a cape? Hell, I'd stuff you in a freaking locker myself if the State of Nevada didn't legally forbid me from doing so."

"I hate you, Mom."

[Ad scan courtesy of the Classic Computer Magazine Archive]

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