Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People

Twenty-one pixilated elderly who refuse to go gentle into that good night.
5/8/2009 7:50 PM | 9 Comments | Page 3 of 4

Scott Jones
Scott Jones
Status: Coffee makes me feel 4-percent sexier.
Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People
10. Dr. Wily (Mega Man series; Capcom)

Age: 57

Notes: One day Dr. Wily grabbed his scissors and cut a picture of Heihachi out of a videogame magazine. He brought it with him to his barber. He said to his barber, "Please cut my hair like this." The barber did as he was told. Dr. Wily paid the barber. But when Dr. Wily got home, he looked into the mirror and did not like the results. So Dr. Wily vowed, once again, to destroy Mega Man.



Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People
9. Admiral Tolwyn (Wing Commander series; Electronic Arts)

Age: 56

Notes: Tolwyn was originally merely a cartoon of an old guy. But in the later, full-motion-video iterations of the game, decorated thespian Malcolm McDowell stepped into the role to lend gravitas to lines like, "Mankind was at his zenith when fighting the Kilrathi."

Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People
8. Cervantes (SoulCalibur series; Namco)

Age: 66

Notes: Ye olde scurvy-riddled pirate forgoes his usual plundering/pillaging/hijacking duties and attempts instead to defeat a bunch of other costumed people in SoulCalibur. With his dual blades, awesome facial hair and Red Lobster-caliber pirate hat, Cervantes makes getting old beautiful.

Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People
7. Orca (The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker; Nintendo)

Age: 61

Notes: And so we meet the second shirtless old person on the list. (Note: The first was the Hobo from Bully.) As a general rule, older people should keep their clothes on. One, because they tend to get chilly very easily. And two, because no one wants to see their old bodies. Orca is the old man in the village who gives Link his penis and teaches him how to use it. Did I say penis? Crap. I meant "sword." Crap!

Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People
6. Dr. Muto (Dr. Muto; Midway)

Age: 52

Notes: Ah, Midway. It's junk like Dr. Muto that made you into who you are today. This game featured an annoying mad scientist who was able to change into a mouse, a squirrel, a gorilla, a fish and a spider, in the name of solving puzzles and battling enemies. One thing that Dr. Muto was unable turn into: fun.


Gaming's 21 Greatest Old People
5. Old Snake (Metal Gear Solid IV: Guns of the Patriots; Konami)

Age: 58

Notes: Hideo Kojima: You have blown our minds YET AGAIN. Meet Old Snake, the second eye patch-wearing elderly person (see Helen "No. 19" Parker for more eye-patch action) on our list. Old Snake proves, once and for all, that yes, old people can pull off bandanas.

« Prev  1  2  3  4  Next »  

Share This

  • Stumbleupon Share Button
  • Delicious Share Button
  • Reddit Share Button
  • Slashdot Share Button
  • Fark Share Button
  • Yahoo Buzz Share Button

Comments

  • RyanKuo
    Game Trust Member
    RyanKuo (Game Trust Writer)

    5/13/2009 3:48:42 PM

    @GusMastrapa:

    !!!

    Reply »
  • GusMastrapa
    Game Trust Member
    GusMastrapa (Game Trust Writer)

    5/12/2009 8:24:13 PM

    I was wondering why does Helen from Hotel Dusk look like Yagyu from Lone Wolf and Cub?

    Reply »
  • RicardoWilliams
    RicardoWilliams

    5/12/2009 4:00:19 PM

    cranky kong lulz

    Reply »
  • CaptainHomeless
    Game Trust Member
    CaptainHomeless (Game Trust Writer)

    5/9/2009 3:55:41 PM

    My style is drunken Kung Fu too ... except without the Kung Fu part.

    Reply »
  • RyanKuo
    Game Trust Member
    RyanKuo (Game Trust Writer)

    5/9/2009 12:28:43 PM

    @unangbangkay:

    Hey, I had one of those too.

    Reply »
  • Crispy Specials

  • unangbangkay
    unangbangkay

    5/9/2009 2:25:53 AM

    Man, I remember Tolwyn. Makes me want to get my old Sidewinder 3D out of the closet. If only my new computer had a joystick port.

    Reply »
  • CG-Prophet
    Game Trust Member
    CG-Prophet (Game Trust Writer)

    5/8/2009 9:43:48 PM

    Oh and man, Ryan has aged gracefully in that first picture.

    Reply »
  • CG-Prophet
    Game Trust Member
    CG-Prophet (Game Trust Writer)

    5/8/2009 9:43:05 PM

    Yeah! and get off his lawn too.

    Reply »
  • JohnKeefer
    Game Trust Member
    JohnKeefer (Game Trust Writer)

    5/8/2009 8:48:51 PM

    52 is not old, you young snots!

    Reply »

Want a new look on the discussion?
» Take It to the Forums

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post.
0 / 2000 used

Log In and Post

Log In and Post
Xbox 360 | PS3 | Wii | PSP | DS | PC
Crispy Gamer Buyers' Guides

Crispy Gamer
Buyer's Guides


From essential games to must-have accessories, the Game Trust tells you what you need to know about your new gaming system.

Expand Box

© Crispy Gamer, Inc. All rights reserved.

By continuing past this page, and by your continued use of this site,
you agree to be bound by and abide by the User Agreement.

Log In or Register with Crispy Gamer

  • Register
  • Log In
  • Facebook
Register
Log In

Use your Facebook account to log in to Crispy Gamer

You'll also be able to add your Facebook friends to Crispy Gamer and post your Crispy Gamer activity in your Facebook feed.

Reasons to Join Crispy Gamer

  • It's Free
  • Leave Comments on Crispy Articles and Blogs
  • Enter Contests and Win Great Prizes
  • Converse With Other Gamers in Our Forums
  • Share What’s Up With Custom Status Text
  • Track Your Activity on Your Personal User Page
  • Chat with Friends in Real-Time