Will E3 Ever Get Its Groove Back?

Of prostitutes, suicide, moviemakers, Maker's Mark, caged parrots and the worst E3 show ever.
7/23/2008 11:43 PM | 0 Comments | Page 3 of 5

And sure enough, when Sony president Jack Tretton says he's rehearsed the Sony show for 12 hours the previous day, I knew his beat would be off, too. Tretton's a nice-guy honcho, but he seemed too relaxed or tired even, like he didn't sleep the night before. Some games were terrific, but the introductions were off. Resistance 2 had this large, 300-foot beast, and bombs were being shot into its gaming maw. Then the great comic book creator Jim Lee was introducing DC Universe Online, which might well be an MMO with heft (if they have the Spectre, Phantom Stranger or Swamp Thing, I'm there). But the writing of the speech and the presentation by Jack made me wanna go back to Clifton's Cafeteria and step into the Redwood Tree Chapel to listen to the faux voice of God.

The speech was not written for the personality that is Jack Tretton: It didn't have his voice. It didn't have power. Something is sucking us away into a purgatory circus of the banal. Oh, woe; oh, injury; oh, death. The horsemen are coming. I can hear their hoofbeats. The end is nigh.

E3 Day 2, Evening

So I'm sitting by the pool with a pal who scores movies. He's regaling me with stories about a producer pal of ours who's had the one of the strangest sex lives imaginable, probably because he seeks out the crazy girls, not the stable girls. I'm drinking Maker's Mark, something I never do, to dull the pain of a lackluster E3. See, the pours at the Figueroa pool bar are like double-shots, and I'm drunk quick, and I'm yearning, even as I'm talking, for a game that's really adult. It doesn't have to be like our pal's weirdo sex life. But it could be like real life and still be compelling, no guns, no flying, no warring, just an intense story executed videogame style. (Sony did show us such a game in a breakout session behind closed doors. It's called Heavy Rain and it's about a mystery that could happen in real life. It was my game of the show, but Sony doesn't want me to talk in detail about it, so I'll shut my yap so as not to break the embargo.)

That evening, I was resigned and sad. I felt there would be no great game surprises, so I was nearly content to sit there in creeped-out awe as I heard about the movie guy who promised the best sex ever to his prostitute-half-his-age girlfriend to get her off the ledge so she wouldn't kill herself. Which is kind of like E3, but that thought's just too dark, even for me.

Later, Activision did it right. It hired a comedian named Nelson Diaz to host its press conference, held in some old converted church near the Toy District. Yeah, the guy was over-the-top excited about the games he was about to present. But he almost seemed sincere, and that was enough. Everything Activision did that night shined -- from the in-the-air-up-the-side-of-the-building fighting of Spider-Man: Web of Shadows to the make-your-own-songs option within Guitar Hero: World Tour. At the end of the event, the developers "played" and sang an impassioned version of Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher." These game makers were so geekily passionate, even some of the most jaded critics actually gave them a standing ovation. I felt so good at the post-party, in the half-lit, Nat Hawthorne-like church courtyard, I didn't go to the next event for fear of seeing something lackluster.