The 10 People We Hope Will Shut the F*** Up at This Year's E3

If you people say one more damn word, we'll start murdering kittens. Seriously.

by Crispy Gamer Staff, 7/10/2008 8:12 PM

(Page 3 of 6)
Michael Pachter
Michael Pachter

Who He Is: An analyst for Wedbush Morgan Securities.

Why He Needs to Shut His Blower: My grandfather once said, "Opinions are likes assholes. Everyone has one." And then he threw up all over my shoes. Grandpa, you rotten old drunk! Anyway, I'm pretty sure grandpa was talking about Michael Pachter when he tried to take credit for this age-old saying. Pachter gasses on (and on), day in and day out, about nonsense. Sometimes he's right. Sometimes he's wrong. But if a tree falls in a forest, and Michael Pachter isn't around to guess about the future of the tree, does it really make a sound?


Image 02
Reggie Fils-Aime

Who He Is: President of Nintendo North America.

Why He Needs to Shut His Blower: OK, we get it, Reggie. The Wii is a success. Nintendo is back on top, blah blah blah. But is it really necessary for you to showboat around the stage like the Woody Woodpecker balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? Hell, even your Mii always looks like it's gloating. Instead of walking around and waiting for everyone to slap you on the back at this year's E3, we recommend you dig your GameCube out of the hall closet and spend one full hour staring at it.


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Responses

  • Burekman
    Burekman

    Jul 31 2008 5:28PM

    Wow, no Gabe Newell. Didn't fit in the article or something?

  • Daarg
    Daarg

    Jul 16 2008 6:10AM

    LOL! Great list of people, it's the only article I've ever read the whole way through on any game site!! A real, as they say, page turner!

  • Anakin
    Anakin

    Jul 14 2008 10:48AM

    Hysterical.

  • Harden
    Harden

    Jul 14 2008 4:54AM

    This feature is awesome. All those people really talk too much... we see them just too often. And about the people "who should say more", I'd like to hear something from Warren Spector.

  • Foe_Monkey
    Foe_Monkey

    Jul 13 2008 6:22PM

    Now this was worth 6 pages!

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Filed Under: E3, Denis Dyack, Cliff Bleszinski, Cliffy B, David Jaffe, Peter Molyneux, Michael Pachter, Reggie Fils-Aime, Kudo Tsunoda, Mike Wilson, Harry Miller, Rick Stults, Gamecock, Gamecock Media Group, Mark Rein, Peter Moore, Cory Barlog, Jonathan Mak, Warren Spector, Mark Healy, Alex Evans, Dave Smith, Kareem Ettouney, Media Molecule, Dylan Cuthbert, Tim Schafer
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