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E3 has become a hellhole! Yes, you heard me, brothers and sisters. The gaming gods brought their wrath down on the booth babes and flashing lights of this modern day Sodom and Gomorrah two years ago. Last year, the gods were somewhat pleased with the redefined effort of the faithful, but there were still those who were confused on how to handle themselves.
Have you lost your way? Fear not, brothers and sisters, for we bring the Crispy congregation the dos and don'ts of E3. We hand down to you the 10 Commandments of E3 as seen by our staff in a vision in a burning weed.
Say Hallelujah and be enlightened. Go, and sin no more at E3.
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Thou shalt not talk about how awesome the old E3 was. Ever.