I once had a friend from nantucket. she often liked to poop in a bucket. she squatted all day long, and kept her mouth in a bong, until her poops became ... nantucket.

So, my roommate is standing right next to me as I type this. She started with "There once was a man from Nantucket," and I decided to wing a limerick.

I think I might not be good at writing limericks.

Anywho... here's a ridiculous store story!

Phone rings.

"Hello, thanks for calling [store name], you're on with Home Theater, how can I help you?"

"...you know what... %&$@ your store, you're all damn liars."

"I'm sorry, but what lie have I told you?"

"YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT I'M TALKING TO $#@%ING DEREK JETER?!" click.

Home theater... home theater... derek jeter... I guess it might sound the same over the phone.