Crispy Gamer

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  • Corpse Run 161: Show vs. Tell   2 years 36 weeks ago

    You shouldn't worry about the comments. I specifically made this username to say this even though I'll probably never use it again, because I think this comic (as a whole, not just this particular strip) is awesome. The comments on any site tend to be absolutely awful and not worth anyone's time to read.

    Also, I've worked in retail, both electronic and books, and I totally feel your pain.

    So don't worry, and keep up the great work.

  • Corpse Run 157: Subtleties of language   2 years 37 weeks ago

    Typo... FIXED!!  

  • Corpse Run 156: Beauty marks   2 years 37 weeks ago

    This is awesome. It really made me laugh today. I hope that you will continue your greatness in your talent with all of us. There is just something about this that put a big smile on my face.

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  • Corpse Run 157: Subtleties of language   2 years 38 weeks ago

    So that's the actual Skyrim dragon version of penis? Fuck yeah that's awesome. It's scratched by the way, not scrached.

  • Corpse Run 150: To delete this message, press seven   2 years 41 weeks ago

    I have done this before. Once a friend left a really long message and I found myself agreeing with her and as she kept talking I remembered that it was a voicemail. This is really funny.

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  • Player-2: Skitty Egg   2 years 42 weeks ago

    TRU LUV!

  • Comics > Ding! Web Comic by Scott Kurtz on Crispy Gamer   2 years 42 weeks ago

    These comics are ridiculously funny, i am enjoying them quite a bit and sharing them with my guildies, I wish there were more if they were still running but the ones that are done are very entertaining :)

  • Dual Review: Pirates of Black Cove and From Dust   2 years 43 weeks ago

    This is very interesting game in all game. I also enjoy this game and I think every person should enjoy with involve in it. I must say that it is very good idea for controlling on your self. You are doing a very great job .

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  • Dual Review: Pirates of Black Cove and From Dust   2 years 44 weeks ago

    These reviews are always so much fun to read. The information that you are providing us is really very helpful and we know which games to play and which ones to stay away from. Thank you.

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  • Gears of War 3 Achievement Challenge   2 years 44 weeks ago

    And everyone said achievements were useless.

  • Why the Zelda: Skyward Sword Reveal Was at Least a Tad Disappointing, in as Few Words as Possible, Ironically Unlike This Title   2 years 47 weeks ago

    Sadly its looking like no Gamecube Controller this time. Which means this is a Legend of Zelda I'm missing. I find the wii controls gimmicky, almost like everything Nintendo is coming out with now.

  • Why the Zelda: Skyward Sword Reveal Was at Least a Tad Disappointing, in as Few Words as Possible, Ironically Unlike This Title   2 years 48 weeks ago

    Hey thanks, frivera. You honor me with your sign-up-age. If you want to read more of my lunatic ravings, check out my site:

    I primarily cover PC games, but I try to be engaging regardless. Ok, that's all the shameless plugging I'm going to do for now.

    Thanks again for the kind words.

  • Why the Zelda: Skyward Sword Reveal Was at Least a Tad Disappointing, in as Few Words as Possible, Ironically Unlike This Title   2 years 48 weeks ago

    Brian Mardiney,

    This is my "Nintendo Break Up Take Me Back Love Letter"


    Its because of you I registered for this site. You have expressed my thoughts and I am sure the thoughts of millions of zelda fans perfectly.


    I dont want to fight a control system. When I first got the wii, the motion controls were exellent, for about a month. After that, it morphed into a gimmick.  I am almost 29 years old and I enjoyed my first Zelda game when I was around 6 or 7 years old and will have no problem playing the Legend of Zelda (part 1) this very day, and do you know why? Because I can lay down, eat a bag of chips, drink Jack Daniels and keep the joy pad on my stomach, arrow Gannon and save Zelda without missing a beat. 


    An announcement for a "normal controller" would have been a dream. In my own opionion, the Nintendo controller was great and the Super Nintendo controller expanded on its greatness. After that, i dont know wtf happened....N64? that controller was always terrible.....Gamecube? less terrible but still terrible. If I cant intelligently play a fighting game on a Nintendo controller, its wortless. There is a reason why Dreamcast, Xbox (twice) and Playstation (four times, with the PSP) took a page out of the Super Nintendo Controller playbook.


    A Link to the Past had no motion controls. 30 items to use and collect and NO MOTION CONTROLS. No gimmicks, no memory card, no polygons, 6 buttons, no remake, no sequel, no 3D (hell, it wasnt even called PART 3!), no skull kids, no masks, no twilight, no hourglasses, minicaps, and NO SKY! When I played Link to the Past, all i had was a boomerang and a boner. A BOOMERANG aaaand a BONER.  Ocarina was okay.  As for Masked Ocarina , well I cant speak on it because I have only  played it for less than 3 hours. However, I do feel it was rushed in production but I do, at the same time respect its fans and following.


    Wind Waker. Quality, solid, great game. NOT better than Link to the Past, but a great game no less. After Link to the Past, it was the best at capturing the imagination and fantasy that true Zelda fans crave. Nintendo did, however, suker punch its way out of having a Hyrule, let alone a real map.


    Twilight Princess. I want to like this game. I want to LOVE this game, but it is so very hard for me to do so. Maybe its just me, but it s not feel like what a true Zelda sequal should feel like. This game is not timeless, and i dont have to own it, and I sure dont dont have to beat it. Sad but true.


    If this is going to continue, please dont call these next games "The Legend of Zelda........"

    call them "Link's Motion Contol Action Wii!!" and "Link's Motion Control Action Wii!! 2". Don't make them part of Legend. Don't force the hardcore fans, especially those in cyberspace to find a place for them on the Zelda timeline, which I am sure they are capable of.  Please? Nintendo..................Please?


    I do not think true fans have outgrown the Legend of Zelda, but I  do think Nintendo has outgrown its true fans. We are useless to Nintendo now. This is because we walk into stores like like zombies, thirsting for the new zelda, and after facing the disappointed we knew we would face, we dive off of the cliff like lemmings, only to resurface when a new Nintendo system debuts and a new zelda game emerges. Nintendo just wants to expand on its zombies.


    Listen, I LOVE Nintendo, I OWN a Wii (as well as xbox360 and ps3), I WILL BUY Skyward Sword, but I am NOT HAPPY. Nintendo does NOT appeal to fans and hasnt made me happy since around 1992. ALL I want is for Nintendo to be the gaming beast it once used to be and become the gaming empire that I know it can. Listen, Im a lawyer, I make a ton of dough, and i want to spend half my dough on video games, so I am concerned about this next Zelda.


    Also wtf is the deal with the Mario and Zelda Anniversary paks? Open your eyes Nintendo, these franchises and your fans have made you millions and all we get is a lousy in game music cover album.


    Thanks Brian, and I FEEL the condescension.

  • Review: Zenonia 3: The Midguard Story   2 years 50 weeks ago

    Wow, this sounds great! I love the fact that you are not penalized for not playing the fist two versions. This should be awesome and I can't wait to try it out. I am so glad I saw this.


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  • Review: Fable III   2 years 50 weeks ago

    That is what "depth" means to you?

  • Review: Fate of the World   2 years 51 weeks ago

    While reading the first paragraph, the game didn't seem that bad, I had even started to compare it with Caesar a bit, because you have to take care of the city and it's a pretty hard job. But then I got to that part mentioning it is a card game.

  • Review: Fable III   2 years 51 weeks ago

    Oh, my, I had no idea Fable III has already appeared! I remember playing Fable:The Lost Chapters a long, long time ago. I have to disagree with you, though, it wasn't "shallow as hell" at all, you could flirt with girls, get married, even get married to a guy, you could get drunk, etc. etc.

  • Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 (PC)   2 years 51 weeks ago

    A very down to earth and unbiased review. 100% correct and well written. This game is an insult to westwoods RED ALERT 2. The game speed is rediculous and no way to change it.

  • Review: Puzzle Dimension   3 years 4 days ago

    I'm definitely getting the demo to try this. Awesome review, Chase! :D

  • Why the Zelda: Skyward Sword Reveal Was at Least a Tad Disappointing, in as Few Words as Possible, Ironically Unlike This Title   3 years 6 weeks ago

    I don't own a wii because I HATE the whole motion control thing.  It's alright for some games or if you're trying to loose weight or something, but combining Zelda and wii is one big mistake.  The first issue I see with this game is the graphics.  Tp had the best graphics of any zelda game and I would love to see them make another one in that fashion.  I couldn't adjust to the windwaker graphics.  It didn't feel like I was playing a zelda game.  Contrary to a lot of opinions, graphics DO matter.  Personally the more realistic and the less cartoonish or abstract the better.  As far as the story goes, I don't really care.  As long as there are dungeons and tons of side quests it doesn't matter to me.  Tp (for gamecube) was by far my favorite just because of the graphics.  The weapons weren't that great though.  the spin top and ANOTHER hook shot blew it for me.  So to wrap it up; more realistic graphics, better weapons, and more side quests.  

  • Corpse Run 114: Link's Awakening   3 years 7 weeks ago

    Those Gorons always did creep me out a bit.  I think this hits on why.

  • Review: Fable III   3 years 9 weeks ago

    Thanks for all the tips!!! Very useful.

  • Review: Fate of the World   3 years 9 weeks ago

    Well, in this case the causes are logicall and largely event focused. Wildfires in Africa caused by a massive drought for instance. In that event you respond with programs to increase water supply. Political disturbance is treated by using appropriate social reforms or sending in troops.

    As for the global climate change. Most of those issues revolve around emissions issues as most of the findings are pointing that way. Even then it's rather realistic as significant actions like switching a region over to electric or nuclear only drop the global temp a fraction or stop it from increasing. And whatever the politics, there is a relationship between the rise in temperature and the increase in emissions caused by human activity. Is it a cause-and-effect relationship? Donno. Probably. But as we say in psych "correlation does not mean causation". Essentially that a relationship existing does not mean that as a fact item A caused item B. On the other hand, if the correlation is significant enough (as with the climate change issue) we can say that while it requires experimental data to prove that something's causing temperature to rise, it damned well looks like that's the case.

    On the other hand. This is a game that is very entrenched on one side of an issue (for logical reason some might say). However as Rich put it, an educational game needs to be FUN first. And this one sadly wasn't.

  • Corpse Run 109: Steve Jobbed Me   3 years 9 weeks ago

    PC? Maybe? Now? :)

  • Review: Fate of the World   3 years 9 weeks ago

    I learned all of the Egyptian gods by playing "The Dagger of Amon Ra: A Laura Bow mystery" and I leared a great many country flags from playing Carmen Sandiego games. Just thought I would throw that out there :)