Games for Lunch: Rapala: We Fish
In a nutshell: I am not a leading expert and fan of Speed Fishing.
11/2/2009 5:09 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 2
Developer: Fun Labs
Publisher: Activision
Release Date: Sept. 22, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site
0:00 I've never met a fishing game I really liked, but I'm in the mood for something out of the ordinary today. Plus the back of the box promises "24 wild and wacky fish," so how can I lose?
0:01 "A Nunchuk is required," the game tells me, with a picture of a Nunchuk in case I was confused. In the middle of a lake, a Crocodile Dundee lookalike casts a reel. Cut to an old grey-bearded fellow with a cane and top hat tap-dancing around a stage. "Ladies and gentlemen," he begins. "My name is Seymour Breem, one of the richest men in the world and the leading expert and fan of the sport of SPEED FISHING! I'm just crazy enough to offer the winner of this contest the prize of one billion dollars. Let's begin the first global speed fishing tournament!" Dundee brings up a fish, who flies straight to the camera and screams "Gooooo fish!" in an extremely unsettling way. The next minutes is an insane montage of stereotypical characters doing nutty things on small boats. Rather than try to describe it, I'll just list a few choice quotes I managed to get down: "I'm gonna be a billionaire cowboy!" "Now the fun begins." "Hey ninja ... eat my duck." "Ninjaaaa Magic!" "Weeeee FISH!" That was ... not at all what I was expecting. Also ... Speed Fishing?
0:06 I guess I'll start with Tournament mode. There's a two-player co-op tournament option, which would be nice if I could ever imagine any of my friends wanting to play a speed fishing game.
0:07 My character choices for this morning: Randall the Crocodile-Dundee-alike cowboy, Zogby the token black guy (complete with afro), Ken the Ninja in a suit, Luc the chef and Emily the girl in an old-fashioned orange-and-black dress with wings on her back. I'll ... go with the ninja, I guess. "Behold my Ninja MAGIC!" he says.
0:08 The only difficulty class available right now is "Beaver," a one-star level. The only location available is The Pacific Northwest. Heh. Beaver.
0:09 My objective: Catch three fish. "Let's learn the basics," says a soothing female voice amidst cheesy '80s guitar music. "All you need to do to speed up is hold down the B button." Turning is controlled by Remote twisting, not the more logical analog stick on the Nunchuk, eh? The A button does a nice zippy turbo dash. I use the mini-map to dash over to a fishing "hot spot," and open up my lure selection with the d-pad. I can choose from the Countdown Magnum, Jointed Shad Rap, Tail Dancer or DT Fat SureSet. Are these lures or condoms?
0:12 I cast my line with a big over-the shoulder Remote motion, then wind the Nunchuk slowly to attract a fish. A smallish green fish sees the lure and his eyes bug out of his head by a few inches. He follows the lure as I reel in for a few feet, then bites on with a flamboyant chomp. A quick jerk to set the hook, then more Nunchuk winding to reel him in. Occasionally the Remote appears on-screen and tells me to jerk it in one direction, but I can't seem to get the timing or motion right. One more Remote-jerk to "land it." It's a small mouth bass.
0:14 "After you catch a fish, you have to bring it to the safe harbor before you can catch another one." How does that make any sense? The boat can't hold more than one fish at a time, hmmm?
0:16 Mr. Ninja somehow returns his boat to the Safe Harbor while holding his fish high above his head with both hands. Doesn't he need at least one hand on the steering wheel or something? Anyway, turning the fish I caught means "it's safe and you won't lose it if you get attacked." Attacked? Who said anything about being attacked?!
0:21 I finish out the objective by catching two more tiny smallmouth bass rather quickly. On the one hand, I like that the game removes the sitting around and waiting that characterizes real fishing. On the other hand, this seems like a mockery of a real fishing experience. Anyway, returning my third fish leads the announcer to scream "GOOOOOAL!" The ninja does a little dance and sheathes his reel like a mock sword. "Well, that sure was an exciting race. I can't wait for the next one!" says the announcer. That's funny ... I can...
0:22 "Florida Keys - Noon is unlocked!" Did that really deserve an exclamation point, game? This time I have to catch "Over 50 lbs of fish." Oh, and there are three AI opponents in the harbor with me now.
0:24 "Do you see the present that appeared on the water in front of you? What's inside? Drive over it and find out!" Why is she talking to me like it's an episode of "Blue's Clues"? "You got a Duck Missile!" That ... is not what I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't it. I fire it and it skims along the water with a light quack, blowing an AI opponent sky high. So now it's Mario Kart Speed Fishing?
0:26 I find my first fish before the others can get to the spot. This time, he starts a "fish rampage" mid-reel, forcing me to make some Wii Remote twists as they're shown on the screen. I can't seem to figure out what the game wants from me with these ... sometimes I pull it off without even trying; sometimes I don't, even when trying really hard. What am I doing wrong, game? I pull it off in the end, though, netting a 14.2 lb dolphin fish. This thing is as tall as me! I can barely lift it over my head. "These are the true skills of a Ninja," I'm told.
0:28 As I return to safe harbor with my huge fish, I somehow fall into second and then third. I guess everyone else got even bigger fish, eh? Maybe I need a different lure...
0:30 Back to the hot spot. I choose a new lure and attract a fish incredibly quickly, as usual. After a lot of reeling, the new lure attracts a small, feminine-looking red fish. I set the hook and reel her in for 10 feet or so when a thin, sleek, toothy fish swims up and EATS HER WHOLE, biting my line in the process. Is ... is that a real thing that happens in fishing?
