Games for Lunch: Tekken 6

In a nutshell: It's Tekken! Now with more water effects!
10/28/2009 7:17 PM | 2 Comments | Page 1 of 2

Developer: Namco Bandai
Publisher: Namco Bandai
Release Date: Oct. 27, 2009
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, Arcade, PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

0:00 I was a huge fan of Tekken 2, 3 and Tag Tournament back in my school days, when I played regularly against a bunch of high-school buddies. My interest has kind of fallen off since then, but I'm hoping it won't be too hard to hop back on the Tekken train.

0:01 "An update for this game is available from Xbox Live." OK, let's download that aaaaand ... done.

0:02 A black bird sits on top of what looks like an aircraft-carrier radar dish. He flies off over a snowy military training field with rows and rows of red-eyed, identical soldiers in full body armor. Did I accidentally put in a Metal Gear Solid game? Anyway, tanks roll out of a cargo plane. Kazuya is on the phone. Or is it Jin? Man, it's been too long. Whoever it is gets on a pedestal and salutes the soldiers, who salute back. Cut to a blonde guy toasting a wedding from a nearby table. Three jet fighters bomb the church for some reason, and blonde guy cradles the bride's dead body in his arms, screaming at the sky as he does. Cut to a purple-haired beauty guiding a horse through a desert valley. Cut to another blonde boy laying flowers at Emma's grave. Cut to a fat guy reading the paper during a bank hold-up, getting up, and kicking the robbers' butts. Cut to Jun (I think that was her name) fighting a stunning blonde. Cut to big-haired Paul fighting some vaguely familiar grey-haired old guy -- when their fists meet it causes earthquake-like destruction. Cut to helicopters dropping shock troops, including Jin, who has one red eye and no parachute I can see. Cut back to the purple-haired girl who puts two sai in a stone door, opening it to reveal a huge, crystalline dragon beast. Aaaaand ... title. Man, I've been away too long, because I didn't know a bunch of those guys.

0:05 "Select Battle Position Preference (left or right)." Do people really choose right? I guess if you're prepping for a tournament...

0:06 In the options, the difficulties are Easy, Medium, Hard, Super Hard and Ultra Hard. No Very Easy here, only ULTRA HARD! Medium is probably enough for my rusty ass.

0:08 In the background of the menus is some blond-haired guy, with slicked-up hair and red battle armor, bobbing in a fighting stance. Papers blow as tanks roll behind him. From my speakers, super-cheesy hair-metal guitar.

0:09 I'm intrigued by "Scenario Campaign: The story mode not found in the arcade version," but I think I'll warm up with old-school, single-player Arcade Battle. I know fighting games like this are meant to be multiplayer, but I don't think I'm ready for online play yet, and there are no real human opponents around (as usual).

0:10 Holy crap ... the character-select screen has 40 characters. Not a single one needs to be unlocked, it seems. I'm a fan! I recognize quite a few of them, including some old favorites: Kuma the bear, Ganryu the sumo wrestler, and Heihachi the bad-ass. Plus Roger Jr. the boxing kangaroo! But where's Eddy? I miss that fool. I decide to go with big-haired Paul. I was always pretty good with him.

0:13 My first fight is against fellow blonde guy Steve. It's like riding a bike ... I pull off a quick one-two elbow drop and dashing punch combo like I've been doing it regularly for the past decade. Of course, it's a little different on an Xbox pad instead of a PlayStation controller, but the timing and configuration are exactly like I remember. From there, it's an easy three-round win. Wait, three rounds? Isn't this supposed to be best two out of three? Guess it's not, anymore. I like the fancy lighting and water effects in the ornate fountain in the background. I don't like the awful background music.

0:14 There's Eddy! He's my second opponent. How did I miss him in that character-selection screen? There were too many choices, I guess. Anyway, we're fighting in some sort of car park that filling with rushing water falling from above. Someone at Namco really likes these water effects, huh? Anyway, Eddy barely gets a single attack as I spam the same few moves over and over for another easy win. Maybe I should have chosen Ultra Hard...

0:16 A "promotion match" gives me a "promotion chance" against an unfamiliar (to me) character named Asuka. "Let's get this over with," she says in translated Japanese before the fight. The HUD tells me this is "Michig@n Asuka" who's "9th kyu." I have no idea what either of those means, but neither seems to make her very good. She doesn't really block as I pummel her easily with the same old moves. For my trouble, I'm promoted to 9th kyu myself. Nice!

0:19 Michig@n Next up is Safina, a 6th kyu "Berry Smith," according to the HUD. Is that supposed to be a person's Xbox Live name? Is this computer opponent based on some real person? Well, real or not, she actually puts up a good fight. She's very flexible, and has a way of standing on one foot with the other leg at the ready to do quick, devastating kicks. I pull off a solid win in Round 3 after figuring out her patterns a bit. But she juggles me to an easy victory in Round 4. Ouch!

0:24 A quick continue and it's over to Eddy this time. I remember the strategy for him, of course: Spam the kick buttons! It works perfectly ... she barely has time to compose herself as I pummel her in three straight rounds. Maybe she was going easy on Eddy, because he's not even "9th kyu" but just "Beginner." Or maybe I should just spam the attacks more!

0:28 Next up is Lei, who's ranked 7th kyu and sub-named ">:-) I guess." OK, that has to be an Xbox Live name ... Namco would never put an emoticon in its official AI names. He has eight wins and 10 losses for a 44.4-percent average. Oh, and we're fighting in a cavern with even more watery effects in the background and foreground, of course. Anyway, I win the first round with nonstop kicks, but lose the second when I stop kicking for some reason. By the third round he's learned to counter my slow but powerful kick combos with quick little punches. In Round 4, I get a few big kicks in, but he finishes me off when I miss a throw attempt.