Games for Lunch: Vacation Sports
In a nutshell: If Wii Sports Resort is sold out ... wait for them to restock it.
7/27/2009 5:48 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Kyle Orland
Status: "You can't get quality video game editorial from a value menu!" "No, really, you can't."
Developer: Mere Mortals
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: March 17, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site
0:00 Since I'm
reviewing Wii Sports Resort for this site, I thought it was only fair to check out what's obviously being released as "competition."
0:01 Right off, I'm jamming to the steel-drum and trumpet-heavy music on the preview screen. This is gonna be in my head all day, and I don't really mind!
0:02 A plane with some creepy-looking people flies over an island that looks REMARKABLY like the one in
Wii Sports Resort. On it, people play cricket and throw an American football around. As four misshapen, ugly cartoon people get off the plane, they get leis and walk toward the palatial hotel. In
Resort they skydive off the plane. Skydiving is cooler than walking. I'm just saying...
0:03 On to a title screen, where characters that are much blockier than in the intro cut scene awkwardly hurl a Frisbee around. "Hello and welcome to the resort," says a blocky woman in a yellow bikini. She's Lola, and she wants me to have "a great time during your stay with us." I have to go to Reception to check in. Wow ... all the fun of the most annoying part of a vacation!
0:05 So now I'm "Creating a family," which really sounds like a euphemism for something. I choose a watermelon for my family logo, because YUM. Then I get to pick the members of my family. There are 10 people to choose from, all kind of odd-looking, and mostly blonde. For the brother, I pick a guy with an open Hawaiian shirt and a tall buzz-cut. For the rest I just choose the "Auto" option, because really, who cares. "Well done! Your family is now checked into the hotel." That deserves a well done? Ugh.
0:07 Now I'm heading to my room to "settle in." Oh my god, let's get to the sports already! The room has a trophy cabinet, a TV set (through which I can purchase new activities, oddly) and a wardrobe. I give Ace some heart-shaped sunglasses, because why not?
0:10 After a ludicrous amount of loud loading, I go back to the lobby. "Now that you are settled into the resort, it is time to play some sports!" Hooray! Also, Lola, have you ever heard of contractions?
0:11 I start with a three-event challenge against another family in the resort. I'm competing against the Wood family, which has a banana for its logo. Let's start with Petanque, which is unique for a sports videogame, at least.
0:15 The tutorial teaches me to aim at the other end of the field with the Wii Remote, then hold B and swing the Remote underhand to throw my "boules" close to the "jack." I win the first "over" 3-0 by knocking my balls right into the jack, despite the absolutely awful throwing controls. The game throws the ball even when I don't move the Remote at all.
0:19 I'm behind 4-3 after two more ends, mostly because I can't figure out how to moderate my throw power. The game just seems to throw the ball irrespective of what I do. I manage some decent throws in the fourth end, though, and squeak out a win 5-4. Hopefully the other sports will be a bit better.
