Games for Lunch: Go Play Lumberjacks
In a nutshell: All the nonexistent thrill of lumbersports, captured accurately in a Wii game.
7/1/2009 1:46 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Developer: Panic Button
Publisher: Majesco
Release Date: June 9, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site
0:00 I know that these games are designed for groups of two or more tweens, and I am one 26-year-old man. Still, it's been sitting on my shelf for weeks now, so away we go.
0:01 The box art intriguingly features a scoreboard with the names Jack, Jill, Bart and Nozawa. Nozawa? Really? That ... doesn't seem to fit with the others.
0:02 The preview screen features a burly man in flannel hitting a tree and shouting "TIIIIMBERRRR!" After quite a bit of loading, the title screen comes up with the same lumberjack in the foreground. Behind him, a slight girl holding a chainsaw that's almost bigger than her. Also there's a pirate, for some reason. The calliope synth music is truly awful, as you might imagine.
0:04 Plain ol' Easy, Medium or Hard for difficulty. Since this is designed for tots, I go with Hard. "HAAAARD!" says an unseen voice, creepily.
0:05 Sawing is first up in Free Play, with the Solo Cross Cut.
0:06 Look at that, my choices for characters are Jack, Jill, Bart and Nozawa. The latter is a ninja, and the second-to-last is a pirate. What is this, Pirates vs. Ninjas Lumbersports? "Velly Good!" says the extremely stereotypical ninja as I choose him.
0:07 There's a Wii Balance Board control option? No way! Let me get it out of the closet. One sec.
0:09 OK, so apparently I have to saw three pieces off a log by leaning left and right on the Balance Board. I'm pretty sure that's not how the real lumberjacks do it ... wouldn't the Wii Remote be a better sawing analogue? Were they just throwing in these Balance Board controls? Anyway, I end up doing a kind of shuffle step to shift my weight incredibly quickly. Three logs cut in 23 seconds win the day. "I win, haha," says Nozawa in stereotypical Japanese. "Aw shucks," says Jill. "I walk the plank," says Bart. "I can't believe it!" says Jack. Man, those sayings are gonna get tired REALLY quickly!
0:11 As if the exclamations weren't enough, there's a quick, over-the-top trophy presentation too. Ninjas always win!" says Nozawa. I've unlocked the Limb Cut game, which I'll take on next.
0:15 This one is much more interesting than I expected. It's like a rhythm game, with yellow and red pegs falling down the sides of a tall log in time with some pleasantly twangy music. I have to lean in the right direction to hit the yellow pegs and avoid the red ones. The Balance Board is just a little wonky, though, making it hard to put together combos or change sides quickly. I get better at the end but still end up in fourth place. One more try, this time just using the Remote.
0:19 I fall behind early when the controls don't work the way I expect. Apparently I have to tap A, 1 and 2 in time with the pegs, depending on their location. This is MUCH easier than with the Balance Board, but still requires some good thumb reflexes. I catch up at the very end with a perfect run that gets me first place. I am way too psyched about this.
