Games for Lunch: Go Play Lumberjacks

In a nutshell: All the nonexistent thrill of lumbersports, captured accurately in a Wii game.
7/1/2009 1:46 PM | 0 Comments | Page 3 of 3

0:43 Feeling lazy and bored, I do the Wii Remote version, leaving the Balance Board to rot. This one just involves hitting A and B like the game says, then swinging. I end up in a tie for first, which is good enough for me!

0:45 Log Splitting is a timing game. I have to hold a button and swing when the moving arrow is in a green section. The only problem is the short delay between my swing and the on-screen chop. I can't figure it out, and lose by 21 points. OK, trying again.

0:47 Ah ... my problem was I wasn't swinging fast enough. Now that I've got the quick wrist snap down, I get first place easily, missing only three swings total.

0:50 Oh goody, another log-chopping game just like the first two. This time, though, I have to use the Wii pointer to place climbable planks in the sections I cut out of the long log. I lose by a massive 15 seconds the first time through, because I'm standing too close to the screen and I can't find the pointer. I scoot back the second time and do much better, winning by six whole seconds. I feel no joy at this achievement.

0:54 All right, on to Log Rolling. I have to lean left and right on the Balance Board to keep a yellow arrow in a gently swaying, shrinking green section or an arc. At least it involves balance, like real log-rolling, but it still doesn't seem like a great analogue. Nor does it seem very interesting. I get first place on my first try and struggle to stay awake.

0:59 This last game of the hour is all about running on a constantly flowing bed of logs on a river, while avoiding obstacles with a jump. It plays like one of the worse Mario Party mini-games. I fail twice, but I can't say I'm too broken up about it.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.

Why? It's boring and repetitive and boring and repetitive.

This column is based on a retail copy of the game provided by the publisher.

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