Games for Lunch: Go Play Lumberjacks
In a nutshell: All the nonexistent thrill of lumbersports, captured accurately in a Wii game.
7/1/2009 1:46 PM | 0 Comments | Page 2 of 3
0:20 I switch to Bart the pirate for Hot Saw because, in the last event, he snapped a chainsaw in where his hook used to be and that is AWESOME!
0:22 I have to lean to keep an arrow in a constantly moving green section of a thin bar. Not sure what this has to do with real sawing, but whatever. My leaning is insufficient, though, as I lose by a mere 2.1 seconds. This will not stand! Retry.
0:24 I focus a bit and figure out the patterns of the swaying green section this time around, winning by just 0.3 seconds. I wish I could have seen the exciting animations that I'm sure were going on in the background, but I was too focused on the little green bar.
0:25 Chop and Kick involves leaning left and right to cut, then swinging Wii Remote to kick out pieces. Do they think people are playing this upside down?
0:26 Axe Throwing is up next, in "First to 1000" mode. Uh, is this gonna take long ... I have somewhere to be.
0:27 It's just another point-and-shoot gallery, with a bunch of targets popping up in a field. Targets that are farther away and moving are worth more points, but you can only throw one axe at a time, so no spamming the fire button. The three opponents playing at the same time add a little intensity, since they steal all my targets just as I'm about to hit them. Jill gets to 1000 points while I'm only at 540. Wha? Rematch!
0:31 I didn't change my strategy at all this time, but I did get first place easily. I was just faster and more accurate on the draw, I guess. This could be a fun enough little mini-game for four people -- for about four minutes!
0:32 Other axe-throwing games are "Time Limit" and "Color Chaos." I'll save those for the end, if I have time.
0:34 Oh look, another game based around stutter-stepping left and right, this time to climb up a huge log. They also added dropping water balloons to dodge with the Wii Remote (but who's dropping them? There's no one at the top of the log!). I finish behind by a second the first time, but ahead by 0.3 seconds the second time. I'm working up a little sweat here, actually.
0:37 This next game, Underhand Chopping, is the worst one yet ... I have to hit buttons on the Wii Remote or lean as indicated, then swing the Remote to swing the axe. Isn't the whole point of the Balance Board and Wii Remote to simulate real-world motions? So why am I tapping buttons and leaning in response to prompts and not in response to realistic stimuli?
0:40 I got fourth place on my first try, but I focus a bit and win by a good two seconds on the rematch. It's a hollow victory, as the Balance Board routinely acknowledged leaning that I wasn't even trying to do.
0:41 Quote of the moment, from Bart, upon his selection: "I'm a pirate." Well thanks for clearing that up!
0:42 Block Chopping is EXACTLY the same as Underhand Chopping, except this time you swing the Remote to the SIDE! I'd save it for the end, but I need it to unlock the interesting-sounding water events. Sigh.
