This year's E3 was a terrible place for a real-time strategy gamer. Partly because there were so few RTSes on display. Supreme Commander 2 was there as a mock-up of how the game might play one day. It was a canned "now these guys attack these guys" demo, so it's really too early to draw any conclusions. The good news is that Gas Powered Games has learned a lot from the original Supreme Commander, as well as the terrible Xbox 360 version, as well as Demigod. One of the best things you can say about Supreme Commander 2 is that it's being created by a company wiser than the one that made the original Supreme Commander.

Supreme Commander 2

Then there was R.U.S.E., which looks so bog-standard that Ubisoft resorted to demoing it on a super-expensive magic touch table, which is sort of the asexual tech-geek equivalent of a booth babe. (Although those were there, too.) Overlord II looks exciting in a more action-gaming way than strategy-gaming way. No sign of anything new on the Pikmin front yet. And it was an E3 without any StarCraft II.

East India Company is probably the next best hope for RTSes. It looks like a nice compromise between Merchant Prince and Empire: Total War. It's from a first-time developer, which is always a little scary -- but it did make for a great demo, and I hope it speaks to my strategy-gamer geek cred when I say it was one of my favorite demos at E3.

However, the real reason this year's E3 was a terrible place for real-time strategy gamers is because it meant we couldn't be home playing the latest real-time strategy game, which was released just as E3 got underway. I'm talking, of course, about The Sims 3.

R.U.S.E.

Real-time strategy?, you ask. Absolutely, I reply. The core gameplay mechanic of an RTS is converting resources. In most real-time strategy games, this is a matter of converting gold, timber, tiberium or vespene gas into military forces, which you then use to mess up the other guy's conversion process. The difference in The Sims 3 is that you're converting time into happiness. Also, you're not necessarily messing up anyone else's conversion process, since The Sims 3 is a single-player sandbox.

If you're not sold, I could drone on at length about it. But instead, I'm just going to throw down a gauntlet for you and anyone else to take up. How well can you manage the conversion process in The Sims 3? How much Happiness can you wring from a Sim's life given the limited lifespan? Are you enough of an RTS gamer to stop building bases and training units and to instead take the Tom Chick Sims 3 RTS Challenge? (If it makes a difference, there will be prizes! Keep reading.)

In The Sims 3, each Sim can acquire up to five traits. Almost all of the traits are positive, giving your Sim special bonuses. There are a handful of negative traits, but there's no incentive to take them. You might end up with a negative trait as a result of an unfortunate upbringing, but you would never do this voluntarily. Why choose Cowardly when you could be Brave instead? Oh, sure, you might want to role-play a cowardly character. But now we've left the realm of strategy gaming, haven't we? Now that you're off pretending to be a character who's afraid of the dark, there's no reason for you to be reading a column about real-time strategy games, is there?

So assuming you're still with me instead of role-playing a star-crossed couch potato with agoraphobia, welcome to the Tom Chick Sims 3 RTS Challenge. I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Rush Boomturtle, created specially for this challenge. He consists entirely of negative traits. With you guiding him through the twilight of his life, how many Lifetime Happiness points can this absent-minded, clumsy, cowardly, unlucky loser acquire?

If you're up to the task, drop Mr. Boomturtle into a fresh copy of Sunset Valley and play him either until he dies, or until midnight of his 100th day of life (he's currently 74 days old). At that point, note his total number of Lifetime Happiness points. That's your score.

Mr. Rush Boomturtle

If you haven't downloaded any Sims or Lots yet, you're missing out. But here's how it works. Go here to download Mr. Boomturtle's "Lot," which consists of him and his house (feel free to send me a friend request while you're there). Then boot up The Sims 3, click on "New Game," and select "Sunset Valley." You'll be looking at a virgin copy of the town. Select "Move In Household," then select Boomturtle's lot from the list. Place it at 2500 Pinochle Point, the lot at the very end of the street. If you're having trouble finding Pinochle Point, it's the empty suburban development far inland, across the map from the seashore. It's a set of seven lots along a dead-end street. Mr. Boomturtle's place at No. 2500 is at the very end of the street.

The goal is simple. Do whatever it takes to earn Happiness points for Mr. Boomturtle. A few rules:

1. You have to use the naked copy of Sunset Valley as it ships with the game. No resorting to your own Sims, and no buying anything from the store. You can't get a Prius or deck him out with fancy clothes and hairstyles bought with real money. You can't drop him into Riverview. You can't surround him with rich, generous neighbors.

Pinochle Point

2. You cannot mess around with Mr. Boomturtle from the Edit Town menu. In other words, no fair merging his household with the Landsgraab household to take advantage of their money. And no using the cheat codes, of course. I'm watching you.

3. This is not a poverty challenge! You may freely use the Buy and Build modes. Amass and spend wealth. Gatsby it up as much as you can! Right off the bat, consider going into the Build mode to cut a few windows into Mr. Boomturtle's house, or buy him a few lamps. Given that Mr. Boomturtle is cowardly, he's going to have an Afraid of the Dark moodlet until you get some light into his house. You might want to put a door on the bathroom. Feel free to adjust the godawful coloring scheme or lay some nice tile. You'll see that he's not terribly happy about the naked walls. Do you dare spend your early money on wallpaper? Mr. Boomturtle isn't flush with cash.

4. You have to play "Iron Man." That is to say, no reloading if something happens that you don't like. Given Mr. Boomturtle's unfortunate collection of traits, you can expect the unexpected.

5. You can spend your Lifetime Happiness points on Lifetime Rewards, but keep in mind that you're spending your score. Given Mr. Boomturtle's limited time, I can't imagine any of the Lifetime Rewards are going to be worth the cost. But it's your call.

Your home

6. You have through Friday, June 19 to submit your final score. Save your game at midnight on Day 100 or on the occasion of Mr. Boomturtle's death. Upload it and send me a message on the Sims 3 community site (my name there is "tomchick"). I'd love to know a bit about how you managed your score, and screenshots are always welcome, but they're not mandatory. This is not a bunch of pansy storytelling AAR silliness! This is a manly, results-oriented Sims 3 RTS challenge.

Note that the specifics of the challenge will be largely out of your control. Your score will be a matter of fulfilling everyday Wishes, but you're going to be at the mercy of whatever Wishes come up, which will in turn be decided by how you play. Also, you can slowly accrue Happiness points by keeping Mr. Boomturtle's mood topped out, but you're probably going to score most of your points by granting him day-to-day Wishes. And there's virtually no chance that you'll achieve his Lifetime Wish of reaching Level 5 in four different careers, but feel free to try.

I'll be playing the challenge as well, but not to win (I and employees of myself are not eligible for prizes). The winner will receive a free game of his or her choice from a selection of 10 PC and console games, as well as 1000 SimsPoints to spend at the Sims 3 store. The winner will be announced here on Tuesday, June 23.

For the sake of Mr. Boomturtle, good luck.