Games for Lunch: Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

In a nutshell: Is that supposed to look like Ben Stiller?
5/29/2009 8:17 PM | 4 Comments | Page 1 of 4

Developer: Amaze Entertainment
Publisher: Majesco
Release Date: May 5, 2009
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), Wii, DS
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

0:00 I believe I fell asleep watching the first "Night at the Museum" movie on an airplane, but I can't be sure. That's how much of an impact it made ... I don't even remember falling asleep with certainty. Still, they sent me the game, so it deserves an hour at least...

0:01 A company logo in a skeletal dinosaur's mouth turns into a moon above a church-like Smithsonian Castle. The title pops up amidst epic trumpet music and crickets chirping in the dark. "Press Start Button." I do!

0:03 The game takes its sweet time creating new game data on my hard drive. Ah, there we go. New game, please.

0:04 I never understood the difference between "Brightness" and "Gamma." Why can I adjust both in the options when they do the same thing?

0:05 "Factoid: Press Y to get a hint," says the loading screen. Sounds more like a "Pro Tip" than a "Factoid" to me. Cut to a TV set showing "New York Tonight with Sheila Burns." The guest: Ben Stiller's character, Larry Daley, who invented a glow-in-the-dark flashlight. The lumpy 3-D model looks kind of like Ben Stiller, I guess. Quick flashback to his adventures in the first movie, then Sheil mentions they're replacing the statues at the museum with holograms. Daley leaves immediately, while Sheila transitions to a segment on dental fillings made of fudge. In the cab, Daley gripes about the move to holograms. "Sure ... you lose something in the transition to digital culture," says the cabbie. The writing is surprisingly decent. I'm loving the subtle self-awareness.

0:07 "Okay ... been a while. Here we go." I'm inside the New York Natural History Museum. The museum is entirely empty. "Hey Rexy," I say as I pass a giant T-Rex skeleton. The animation and frame rate are incredibly stuttery. Daley walks around like the floor has just been waxed.

0:08 At the desk, Daley plays with the intercom, then reads a letter about being fired for juvenile antics. "Juvenile antics? Me? What a fartface." HA! Because that's a juvenile thing to say.

0:09 My first mission is to find a map of the museum. I find it on the other side of the desk. Mission done! YES! I AM THE GREATEST!

0:10 I have to clean out my locker, which means finding it first. On the way, I run into a bunch of collectible "museum magnets" just lying around behind big crates. I've already found seven of 20.

0:11 I grab my keys and a flashlight, which are activated by the shoulder triggers. I also found a pack of gum. Um, yay? My next goal is "play fetch with Rexy." Why? Why not is a better question!

0:12 An alarm on Daley's watch goes off and it's "Magic Time." Rexy gets animated and runs forward. Daley picks up a loose bone and throws it. Rexy knocks him over with his tail as he runs after it. "Here I come, Santa, make room in the toy shop," Daley says as he passes out. This would be hilarious ... if I were eight.