Games for Lunch: Crimson Gem Saga

In a nutshell: Wins the coveted "Most frequent use of the word 'salutatorian' in an RPG" award.
5/26/2009 7:42 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3

Developer: IRONNOS Software
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: May 26, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

0:00 I know next to nothing about this game, but based on the title I'm guessing it's either a match-three puzzle game or an overwrought RPG. Or both! I don't know which option scares me most.

0:01 Loading, creating a save file, more loading, some logos and then snow falling on what looks like an anime graduation ceremony. Up above, an elf with pink hair watches as a blimp flies over the town. The title appears to the strains of elegant flutes. A blonde ponytailed woman kneels before a king. A goateed man stands illuminated by lightning. Knights draw their swords. A guy with a hammer swings with abandon at some bad guys. A redheaded boy summons a fireball. A girl on horseback runs from a boulder. A fistfight in the rain. A hand reaches for a falling girl. The music stops suddenly as doves fly in front of a temple. Cut to a slowly rotating crimson gem. The title appears again! Whew!

0:04 "History had all but forgotten it ... a power from a forgotten empire that threatened the world. It was said to hold the ability to control all of creation. After a millennium, it stirs once again." Snooze! Wake me when something original happens.

0:05 "I have no choice left. This is my only option," says a regal-looking, white-bearded fellow standing before the crimson gem. "The world will be in ruins if this power falls into the wrong hands." He offers up a young child, who gets sucked into the gem in a blaze of white light. "Prologue." What the...?

0:06 Cut to a house, where a white-haired boy is splayed out on a bed, snoring with cartoon ZZZs. "My head... Ugh..." He's Killian, and he's running late. He runs out into the living room. Roommate Jonathan gives him a glass of water to recover from his hangover, then reminds him that he's late for his graduation ceremony. Nice piano music and funny slapstick sound effects help keep it from getting too dull.

0:08 "You have accepted the quest: Green Hill Graduation," says an on-screen message. EPIC! Killian asks about the message that just appeared on screen. Jon berates him for "dawdling AND breaking the fourth wall." I laughed.

0:09 In control now, running around a nicely hand-drawn, isometric town. The animation is surprisingly smooth, given the high level of detail on the characters and background elements like a flowing fountain. Really seems alive.

0:10 "The 200th graduation ceremony of the Green Hill Chevalier Academy will now commence," says Mr. White Beard, the principal, out loud through the PSP speakers (the rest of the game has been text-based so far). Killian sneaks in the back. Herbert von Gutterien is the valedictorian, while Killian is the salutatorian. Herbert walks up to accept his award, pausing to offer a "Take that, loser" to Killian as he goes by. "Man, I hate that guy." Decent if overblown voice acting.

0:13 We're now all graduates and Chevaliers. Killian is "sick of always being second-best." Aren't we all. "Ranked second in the class, and apparently second in everyone's hearts," he says to himself, because everyone's busy talking to Herbert. Funny, in my class everyone beat up the valedictorian.