Games for Lunch: Stoked
In a nutshell: I'm not Stoked about it. Eh? See what I did there?
5/20/2009 6:04 PM | 8 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Kyle Orland
Status: "You can't get quality video game editorial from a value menu!" "No, really, you can't."
Developer: Bongfish
Publisher: Destineer
Release Date: Feb. 24, 2009
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site
0:00 My long search for an SSX replacement continues.
0:01 Lots of company logos, including one for a company called "Bongfish." Anyway, the title screen features a snowboarder flying waaaay over a hazy mountain ridge. Like, miles up. He's gonna be SORE when he lands! Some funky hip-hop plays in the background.
0:02 I hit start and jump directly to a generic rider in a red jacket with a white stripe. I can customize everything, from his height to his gloves to his "tan," (not skin color ... "tan"). The customizer loses points for a distinct lack of wacky hairstyles, but gains them back with an awesome skull-shaped facemask.
0:04 The options menu has a "forecast" option, which brings up sunny or partly cloudy predictions on a small iPhone-like PDA. Well, that's nice.
0:05 I jump into "Ride Mountain" and get a shot of a helicopter flying noisily over a mountain range. "Hello and welcome to Chile! My name is Marcelo and I'll be your pilot for the ride in!" He sounds super-excited ... at least, in the parts I can hear through the ridiculously loud chopper noise. He says something about two summits, a high one to the west and a lower one east. Lots of snowboard brands pop up in the corner for no reason...
0:06 Marcelo has moved on to talking about rumors about the mountain's backstory. Someone baptized a pig at the summit? Did I hear that right? The chopper noise is ridiculous!
0:07 Might as well start with the Ollie tutorial. "Wolle Nyvelt, 2008 Rider of the Year," is going to show me how to Ollie. Wow, I must be incredibly rich to score a private lesson from such an accomplished boarder. Or he must be incredibly CHEAP!
0:08 Flick the right stick up for a quick ollie. Flick it down, then up, to go higher. Responsive controls, but very stiff animation, like it's a robot snowboarding.
0:10 Spins and flips now ... just tilt the left stick when you're in the air. You get more points for landing straight. Hold down the triggers and move the right stick to do grabs. L and R triggers plus the right stick for grabs. I end up doing a "Crail." Is that a real word? More grabs will be added to the "Grab Bible" as I go. Whoo.
0:11 "Hey, it's Wolle. Let's learn how to do rail tricks." He sounds really bored as he says this. Or maybe just really Austrian. It's hard to tell.
0:12 The grinding detection is kind of unforgiving -- if I miss the rail by a few millimeters I glance off harmlessly. Annoying...
0:15 I can "pre-wind" my spins before I jump using the shoulder triggers. Reminds me of ... SSX! Promising!
0:17 Mixing things together now ... the tutorial asks me to do a spin plus two grabs in the air. This involves, in order: holding down on right stick, holding down RT to pre-wind, slamming up on the right stick to jump while simultaneously slamming left on the left stick and releasing RT, then holding RT and moving the right stick to do the grab, moving the right stick again for the second grab, then letting go of everything with perfect timing for a perfect landing. It's only SLIGHTLY easier to do than to type.
