Games for Lunch: Hysteria Hospital: Emergency Ward

In a nutshell: Diner Dash with less food and more sick people
5/5/2009 7:15 PM | 1 Comments | Page 1 of 3

Developer: GAMEINVEST
Publisher: O Games
Release Date: June 16, 2009
System: PC (reviewed), Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

0:00 Usually I'd stay far, far away from what looks like a simple Diner Dash clone, but I got a preview copy in my e-mail box and I'm in the mood for something mindless this morning.

0:01 Funky muzak-style '70s synth plays on the menu screen, with a male and female nurse standing at the ready and staring at me with creepy eyes.

0:02 I enter my name and choose the male nurse character. The female looks so dejected that I didn't choose her. We're talking "slit your wrists" levels of dejected here.

0:03 "Congratulations to all the graduate nurses from the University of California," says a bullhorn addressing a bunch of robed graduates. They throw their hats in the air. Dissolve to a montage of want ads and response letters: "Need experience," "No vacancies," "We apologize." But wait! Maryville Hospital needs nurses urgently! He calls them up. "We've been looking for someone to take my place for ages," says the fat nurse at the counter. I'm hired sight unseen! I fly off to North Carolina and before I know it it's "Day 1, Level 1."

0:04 "First days on the job are always nerve racking [sic]. But if you pay attention to your patients' needs, then you'll do great!" I need to treat five patients and get 600 "Funds." "We're happy to have you on board, let's get started," says the nurse.

0:06 Patients come in and sit and wait on some plastic chairs. I drag them to the diagnostic counter first, then over to the single, "quick treatment" bed. Once I make the nurse get the chart and bring it over, the bandaging up can start. Once it's done, I clean up and take the sheets to the laundry bin. Repeat as necessary. Seems a lot like Diner Dash to me!

0:08 "To the owner of two glass eyes ... please see Janice in reception. Or get someone to point you in the right direction." HA! It's funny because it's a blind person with no eyes.

0:10 I love the stereotypical, offended reactions the patients make when my disembodied hand picks them up and drags them to the diagnostic desk/bed. "What are you doing?!" "Careful!" "Whatchoo doin', fool."

0:12 Done with Day 1. I treated seven people, not including the seven I sent off to another hospital in an ambulance because our hospital doesn't even have a proper bed! Got 900 in "Funds" and earned an extra star ranking for the hospital. Overall, it's way too simple and easy to be interesting so far, but I'm sure it'll get harder. I do like the late-'90s-style pre-rendered 3-D characters and the nutty, Tazmanian Devil-style animation when people get bandaged up.

0:15 I like the way the game lets you queue up actions to be automatically performed later. So while the nurse is cleaning up the bed and dropping off the laundry, I can worry about using my godlike disembodied hand to drag a patient to the diagnostic desk. Multitasking FTW!

0:17 I used my funds from Day 1 to buy a proper bed for Day 2. Now I don't have to ship my patients off by ambulance. Of course, a line for the bed develops quickly because no one needs the Quick Care station, for some reason. I have two people waiting by the end of the day, but none of them bleed out or anything. A second bed would be nice, though.