Developer: Sand Grain Studios

Publisher: Activision

Release Date: Nov. 18, 2008

System: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, Wii, PS2

ESRB Rating: E-10+

Official Web site

0:00 There's a National Professional Paintball League? And it has championships? And it's popular enough to have its own videogame? OK, I have to at least try this out...

0:01 Some grainy, quick-cutting video of what I assume are real NPPL tournaments. Annoying heavy metal music plays as helmeted, full-suited paintballers dive around inflatable barriers. "Is it a game or a battle?" says an on-screen message. I'm going to go ahead and say game...

0:02 "Pro Player Tips: Support your local paintball field," says the loading screen. How in the world is that a pro player tip? Or even a tip of any kind. "Suggestion" would be more accurate.

0:03 The next few minutes spent "Creating Game Data" on the hard drive. Out of thin air, apparently!

0:07 I can choose between 26 different pro paintballers, which I suppose would be impressive if anyone gave a flying leap about pro paintballers. I go with William Smith, because he reminds me of superstar actor/rapper Will Smith, who would be great in a paintball movie. Also, he has a perfect 20/20 rating in "Marker Handling," so there's that.

0:08 Difficulties are Amateur, Semi-Pro and Pro. I've played paintball once or twice in real life, and I think I'm still an amateur at the virtual version as well.

0:09 As I look about the options screen, some faux metal ballad wails: "Everything is everything and everything is one." This is some of the worst licensed music I've ever heard in a game soundtrack.

0:10 The options include "Cheatmeter" and "Ramping." Neither of these are explained or given any sort of context. Any guesses?

0:11 Into Career Mode and the Dynasty Training Drills. Some guy named Yosh Rau tells me how he's "going to get [me] schooled on probably the most fundamentally key element to the game: accuracy." He delivers his lines with all the aplomb of someone who's recently had a stroke.

0:13 A good one-third of my first-person viewpoint is taken up by the sides of my goggles, which I suppose is realistic. I have to shoot at some large inflatable targets that spell out DYNASTY. The right stick is a bit too sensitive at first, but a quick adjustment helps muchly. I like how the paintballs fly in a nice, slow and somewhat unpredictable arc out of my gun.

0:15 Stage 2 introduces movement around a small bunker to hit yet more targets. The loading is already feeling too frequent and long ... hope it doesn't keep up like this, but I can't imagine it'll change.

0:17 Stage 3 includes actual running around to reach the targets. Everything's overly smooth -- it feels like I'm floating just off the ground more than running with a paintball gun. My shooting is supposed to be less accurate after a run, but I don't notice -- it seems pretty inaccurate all the time, as it should. Rau's awful voice acting continues to grate.

0:20 Stage 5 takes away the big targets and replaces them with small cones held up by teammates. The inaccurate guns start to get annoying here, now that I have to aim for a small thing. Popping off a few shots and hoping one of them hits seems to be the strategy -- just like in real paintball!

0:21 On to the "fitness" drills. The first one shows me how to jump over small inflatable barriers with the X button. At first I have trouble timing it, and end up accidentally running around the barriers instead of jumping. Once I figure out I can jam X continuously, I make it through easily.

0:23 Diving practice now, as I sprint around the field and leap into a prone position behind low "snake" barriers. Has a bit of a Mirror's Edge feel from the first-person perspective. The overly long slide when I hit the ground is disconcerting, though. Is the ground made of plastic? Is this AstroTurf paintball?

0:25 I keep getting picked off in between dives. I have to really time the dives well to avoid sticking out and exposing a piece to enemy fire.

0:29 Next up is a sliding drill, where I have to slide into a crouching position behind bunkers and shoot at small cones. Everything still feels a bit too slippery, but I can stop myself by aiming for a "corner" between the barriers and cones.

0:30 A protip during the loading screen just compared paintball to chess, because it pays to look ahead two or three moves. I couldn't make this stuff up.

0:33 My first "real-world" situation, firing back at an opponent behind their own bunkers. The other guy is maddeningly good at keeping behind his bunker, exposing very little of his body as he shoots. Meanwhile, as soon as I lean out to shoot, and reveal a single iota, I get hit.

0:35 Playing around with the controls. I find I can switch which hand the gun is in, and lean to the side or up above a barrier, rather than just lunging my whole body out. A nice feature, which helps me fire from cover immensely.

0:38 I finally feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this, diving perfectly behind snakes and sliding behind bunkers, carefully adjusting my aim, leaning out caaaaarefully, then firing shot after shot until I get that hit. Feels surprisingly authentic to my paintball experience, and just as thrilling.

0:39 I take out six guys in a row, but notice I'm running out of time as I dive behind the last bunker. I pop up out of safety to take on the last guy, and hit him JUST as the time runs out. The game says I failed. ARGH!

0:43 After a few more failures, I finally take out all seven opponents throughout the field without getting hit. I'm beginning to appreciate the little touches, like the line of paintballs that sails overhead to help you gauge the enemy position when hiding behind a bunker. Or the soft "thunk" of paintballs as they hit your inflat-o-barrier. Or the little bits of paint that litter the field. I'm even appreciating the interface, which makes it easy to toggle stances and different types of leaning for that perfect shot.

0:44 "Pro Player Tips: Did you know that paintballs are made of gelatin, food coloring and water?" THAT IS NOT A TIP! THAT IS TRIVIA!

0:45 On to Stage 5, which is basically a harder version of the tutorial stage I just completed. If I can finish this one, I'm ready for some real paintball. Finally!

0:49 My biggest annoyance so far, besides the persistent loading, is the odd way the game doesn't let me adjust left/right aim if I'm anywhere near a bunker. Up/down adjustment is fine, but the barrel gets stuck when I try to wiggle it left and right, even if there's no reason it should get stuck. This glitch means I have to back away from the barrier to aim, making me a much easier target. Weird.

0:51 I'm on an amazing run when I overslide a bit past the last bunker, exposing myself and getting hit almost immediately. I'd have to think that, in real life, these slides would be a little easier to control.

0:53 I kind of like the precision this game requires, both in hiding behind bunkers and in picking out the little bit of exposed enemy to target. That said, I can't imagine playing it on a standard-definition TV. Those little heads are hard enough to pick out in high-def.

0:58 I haven't even come close to replicating the run I had at 0:51. No matter what I do, I seem to make a mistake somewhere around the third or fourth guy. Maybe I just need to rest my eyes a bit...

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.


Why? I'm amazed at how much this game captures the feeling and strategy of real paintball. The one-hit kills, heavily cover-based strategy and slightly inaccurate aim actually make it more fun, to me, than a standard guns-blazing FPS.

This column is based on a retail version of the game rented from GameFly.



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