Rush, Boom, Turtle: I Like to Watch, Eve

Dos and don'ts for the makers of fine RTS eye candy
4/14/2009 10:05 PM | 1 Comments | Page 2 of 4

Don't: Mess up your game when the speed changes. Empire: Total War lets you speed up and slow down the battles. In fact, over the course of Creative Assembly's development of the Total War series, the battles have gotten faster and faster, as if Creative Assembly thinks we just want to get the whole thing over with as soon as possible so we can get back to whatever strategic layer it's designed this time. Because of this progressive pell-melling of the Total Wars, the slow battle speed in Empire feels about right for me. However, it switches off the sound. Only people who play at default speed are allowed to hear the roar of the cannons, the clomp of the hooves and the fife of the fifes.

Do: Include some way to study and admire replays. Heck, there's a whole Web site for replays! Even terrible games like Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 have replays. Think how much worse your game is than Red Alert 3 if it doesn't even have a replay function.

Don't: Be like Demigod, which doesn't have a replay function. Dudes. What kind of RTS doesn't have a replay option?

Do: Realize that impressive graphics aren't necessarily expensive or elaborate or high-end. Multiwinia, which had an artwork budget of 12 dollars, looks fantastic because it takes place in a "Tron" style of cyberspace from the 1980s as it might be imagined by someone who knows what the deal is with Unix. Now, you might think this is a veiled way of saying it's ugly, but nothing could be further from the truth. Multiwinia is an absolutely beautiful and majestic RTS whose beauty and majesty are timeless. It will be just as beautiful and majestic in the year 2019, when we're laughing at how bad Dawn of War II looks.

By the way, can I take a moment to tell you something in private? Please don't post this part in your break room, because I'd rather it didn't get back to Relic. If someone from Relic is over at your development studio and you've sent them to the break room for some reason, maybe because you're too much of a jerk to go get them a cup of coffee yourself, I wouldn't want to them see this. But I've been messing around with Company of Heroes lately, and I have a confession to make. I think I prefer those visuals to Dawn of War II's. Anyone can make crazy Space Orks and Space Marines look good. But it takes something special to make World War II, the most mundane and boring place in all of videogamedom, look as spectacular as it does in Company of Heroes. So I guess what this "Do" boils down to is this: Do: Do something special, visually speaking. Let me pick up again for when Relic comes back.

Do: Do something special, visually speaking. Age of Mythology holds up for its visuals, even though the engine is a bit dated. The juxtaposition of mythical beasts with Ensemble's usual historical troops and tropes is still one of the best peanut butter/chocolate combos in the history of videogaming. Until someone uses a better engine to show me minotaurs stomping around among hoplites, janissaries and praetors, the graphics in Age of Mythology will hold up splendidly.