Developer: NanaOnSha

Publisher: Majesco

Release Date: March 24, 2009

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

0:00 I was pretty unimpressed with the very early demo of this game at I saw E3 2008, but more impressed with a recent showing at GDC. Erin's review has disheartened me yet again, but I still have to give the creator of PaRappa the Rapper and UmJammer Lammy the benefit of the doubt until I actually play the final version.

0:01 The camera pans through two lines of animals playing an interesting, constantly bending marching tune. They're led by a tall orange guy with a long face. The low-res 3-D models evoke the strong art style of the 2-D cutouts of the PaRappa games.

0:02 "Turn up the Wii Remote volume settings in the HOME Menu first or you won't be able to hear GGGG!" Good advice! Er, what's GGGG?



0:03 "The Marching Family Story" book opens to reveal "The Legend of the Magic Baton: In the not so distant past, the people of March Town were well known for their party spirit. They especially loved marching parades." Imagine that! Major Minor was a cat who wanted to lead a marching band as a drum major. His friend Tom suggested using his Great Great Grandma Gladiola's (GGGG!) baton. But it's a family heirloom with supposedly magical powers. Minor is convinced, and waves the magic baton around. Tom magically gets a snare drum! The spirit of GGGG speaks, urging him to carry on the family tradition of great drum majoring. So Minor and Tom begin their quest "to be the greatest marching band ever." Wow, tough competition there...

0:06 How to hold the Wii Remote: "Don't even think about holding it sideways." Stand up straight and wave it "snappily." Wave it sloppily and no one will want to follow you. Don't wave it too hard, though. Needs a lot of explanation! "Truly, the best Drum Majors have poise and grace." Truly!

0:08 My first practice session doesn't go so well ... I can't seem to match the tempo that I set at the beginning. As I go, the tempo slowly slows down, until it's at a crawl. Here I thought I was keeping a good beat! The interface is already confusing ... am I supposed to match the game's music, or is the game's music supposed to match my waving?

0:09 Apparently I have to adjust my tempo mid-march to satisfy the members of my band, who express their displeasure with cartoon word balloons. Seems a bit annoying ... don't most marches keep the same rhythm the whole way through? Isn't that the point?

0:13 As I march, I can pick up new band members with a quick flick of the Remote to either side, in time with the music. This is quite satisfying, with a nice on-screen indicator showing exactly when to flick. Transitioning back into the marching beat is a bit odd though. If only the whole game were about timed flicking.

0:14 "Now it's time to get out there and relish the spirit of the march! ... Major Minor and Tom decided to try their first march right through March Town." GGGG tells me to "not blow it," then changes to encouragement mode. "Keep, keep, keep on marching; Keep, keep, keep on marching. Keeeeep oooooon... MAAARCHING!" As catch phrases go, it's no "I gotta believe!" On to the actual gameplay. Back in a jiff.

0:18 Well, that was odd. I start off with a tempo I set that doesn't seem to be "right," according to the game. When I try to change it, it doesn't seem to respond immediately. Eventually I kind of stumble into something that makes the music sound more in tune, which I suppose means it's correct. Still, I have to use a lot of collected jellybean items to keep the band happy and marching. When I finally get in the groove it's kind of fun, if a bit simple. We'll see if it picks up.

0:20 The game asks me which band member's performance I enjoyed the most. To tell you the truth, I don't think I noticed a single individual performance. I go with the cymbal-playing goldfish because she's cute.

0:21 Stage 2 is set in the Flower Festival in flower town. "The real marching starts here!" GGGG repeats her "Keep on MARCHING" decree, to give Major Minor "power."

0:25 The game asks me to slow down the tempo when I go up a slope early in the level. Here's where I figure out the real problem with the game. When I slow down my Remote-raising and lowering, the music doesn't really slow down. Instinctively, I want to match the music on the TV, but the game is asking me to slow down, so I try to find some new beat that doesn't match what I'm hearing. With no audio or visual guide, it's incredibly hard to deviate from what I'm hearing.

0:26 I also managed to unlock a brief "Drill Mode" in this level. Basically you have to shake the Remote in the direction indicated by an on-screen icon. It's the same kind of thing you have to do in a million other Wii mini-game collections. Ugh.

0:27 This time I say I enjoyed Klaus Catcus' performance the most, because he has a great name. I may change my name to Klaus Cactus, that's how great it is.

0:28 "And so they decided to go to the Funpark on the coast." Sure, why not. On the way, a police officer stops them. "You can march here, but please don't litter." "'Don't worry, we won't,' answered Tom politely." Geez ... it's like they replaced the craziness of the PaRappa games with pure, distilled lameness.

0:32 We march down the road and into a big stadium, for no apparent reason. I have yet more problems with changing tempos on slopes. I like the addition of new items that actually hurt the band members ... means I can't automatically just flick towards every item. I'm getting the feeling there's too much to keep track of at once on the screen ... between my band members and my status and my jellybeans and my actual marching and my "star" level. I just don't know where to look half the time.

0:34 In the next cut scene, the villain is introduced: Eggplant Fox, aka EPF, aka Aubergine. "What was his plan?" A better question: Why should we care?

0:39 At one point in the Funpark I got a "the tempo is too slow" message followed immediately by a "the tempo is too fast" message. That, in a nutshell, sums up the main problem with this game. Despite the intriguing concept and the great art, the controls, and the way the game interprets them, just are not precise enough.

0:40 We get an invite to a super-celebrity's birthday party for no apparent reason. "This'll be a huge break for us. We'll be famous!" The most famous marching band since ... um ... hold on, I'll think of one...

0:46 Going up the stairs in the mansion, I deliberately try to slow down my tempo as much as possible. The game doesn't seem to notice until 15 seconds or so later, when I'm at the top of the stairs. By that time, my band is incredibly unhappy and I'm incredibly confused because the game doesn't seem to care how I shake the Remote. Maybe I'm just not shaking the Remote well enough, but I hope that's not it. When I stumble into the right tempo, everything is OK, but the frequent required tempo changes just screw everything up.

0:48 I'll be honest, I was a bit distracted during the cut scene. I know something bad happened to make us lose all our instruments and Minor's GGGG baton, but I'm not sure exactly what that is. "How will we march now?" Tom has an idea ... let's steal some tools from a dark factory and pretend they're instruments. Reminds me of UmJammer Lammy.

0:54 All the songs so far have been recognizable but not really nameable marches. You know, that one that goes "dun dun dunnadunna dun dun dah dah!" Anyway, this latest sounds perfectly awful because I can't even come close to finding the tempo for most of the way. That's OK, though, as the sunshine and jellybean items I flick at keep the band happily playing sour notes at the wrong speed. Sigh...

0:55 The police officer found EPF, who stole the instruments and baton. "I always wanted to be a Drum Major myself," he says in his defense. "I thought the GGGG baton would help me." Major Minor is feeling forgiving. "That's OK, next time just ask!" What? Throw the book at him! Lock him up for life. He stole your family heirloom, man!

0:56 Tom has gone missing for some reason, so we have to find him. "You'll be fine without Tom," says the GGGG baton. "Show a little confidence!" Boy, you really don't think much of Tom, do you, baton?

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.


Why? An interesting concept marred by hard-to-follow, hard-to-control execution.



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