Games for Lunch: Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
In a nutshell: What happens when bad comics meet bad fighting games?
4/9/2009 7:19 PM | 2 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Kyle Orland
Status: "You can't get quality video game editorial from a value menu!" "No, really, you can't."
Developer: Midway
Publisher: Midway
Release Date: Nov. 16, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site
0:00 I was never a big Mortal Kombat fan ... I was more a Street Fighter man growing up. I also think the idea behind this game is ludicrous ... so ludicrous that I just HAVE to try it out.
0:01 A minute gone for the inevitable downloadable update. This also gives me time to get my crappy Hori fighting stick out of the closet.
0:02 No over-the-top intro video? Just a title screen with some vague lightning and/or fire in the background? Midway ... you disappoint me.
0:03 At least the menu screen has Batman and Scorpion, standing dramatically in their 3-D glory on some rooftops. The background noise barely counts as music ... "atonal rhythmic drumming" might be a better description.
0:04 My fighting stick only has six buttons, meaning at least two of the eight control buttons are going to have to be jettisoned. I decide to forgo the "3D movement" and "grab" functions. I hate that I have to waste one button on "block." Real men just hold "back" on the joystick!
0:05 The "Kombat CPU" difficulty goes from Very Easy to Very Hard, with Easy, Medium and Hard in between. I leave it at Medium. I know I should be playing another human, but there's no one around (as usual) and I'm embarrassed to show my awful MK skills online.
0:06 I choose Story Mode, because the ridiculous story they'll have to come up with to bring these two very different universes together is really the whole reason to pay attention to this game. "Choose your side," says the stereotypical deep Mortal Kombat voice. The "DC Universe" side is much more interesting, to me.
0:07 "Metropolis, a shining example of human achievement," says Super-Narrator. "This is where we made our final stand against Darkseid and his army of Fire Demons ... but what seemed like victory was only the beginning." Superman drops Darkseid hundreds of feet to the pavement below, causing all sorts of property damage. "Took you long enough," says a dismissive Lex Luthor, who's conveniently standing right there. Some expository dialogue lays out the backstory: Luthor allied with Darkseid to protect Earth in case the superheroes failed. Darkseid escapes through a boom tube, but Superman's heat vision makes it go all screwy, causing Darkseid a lot of pain. Then he's gone and Superman takes Luthor to a jail on the moon. I couldn't make this stuff up.
0:09 Meanwhile, down the street, a villain named Deathstroke (aka Slade) beheads a guy because he hadn't paid back his debt. "You should have paid up sooner... and still had a head." Man, this comic book dialogue reads better on the page then it sounds delivered by bored voice actors. Anyway, the Flash rushes in and knocks Deathstroke down before he can cause more trouble. "Don't get up, Deathstroke. You're going to jail!" Wow, that's the best writing you could come up with?
0:11 A smooth transition into the actual fighting. Since I have no idea how to play as the Flash, I use my default Mortal Kombat strategy of Endless Uppercuts (TM) to take out the guy. I know this is the first bout and all, but I'm still amazed this works. This is Medium difficulty? I'd hate to see Very Easy. Also, Flash doesn't seem especially speedy. What's the deal?
