Games for Lunch: Bionic Commando Rearmed

In a nutshell: I miss the jump button.
4/8/2009 6:26 PM | 1 Comments | Page 1 of 3

Developer: GRIN
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: Aug. 14, 2008
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

0:00 I never really played the original Bionic Commando. I remember I had a neighbor friend who liked it, but I always insisted we play Super Mario Bros. instead when I was over. And the rest is history.

0:01 "Let me tell you about the man I met when I was still young..." says some white text on a grey background. They found a secret military document, describing the defunct Project Albatross. A power-mad Admiral decided to carry it off himself. So "Super Joe" went in to stop him, but all contact was lost. So now someone else is sent in to find Super Joe. "This is where our story begins." I love the remixed chiptune music.

0:02 Let's start with "basic tutorial." My grappling-hook arm can shoot straight ahead, straight up or diagonally. I can use it to climb up to platforms. Seems straightforward enough.

0:05 I can also use my arm to pull blocks and swing from ceilings, Spider-Man-style. "Now you are in a swing, and will continue to swing for all eternity without having to push another button." All eternity? Really? What if the sun explodes? Will I still be swinging?

0:07 Having some trouble timing my grapples in mid-air, but I eventually get it. I'm a little annoyed at the lack of a jump button. What kind of self-respecting platform game doesn't have a jump button? Super Mario Bros. had a jump button, that's for sure!

0:08 I'm off on a new game, Medium difficulty. "Captain, do you read me? Here are your mission objectives." I have to intercept enemy communications to track down and rescue Super Joe. Isn't that a great name? Super Joe! From now on, I'm going by Super Kyle.

0:09 Chopper pilot Haley takes me to Area 01, "The Oil Refinery." I find quickly that I need to change the default controls. Who ever heard of using the X button to fire your weapon? The entire idea is just ludicrous. Pshaw!

0:11 I climb up a few platforms, shoot a few stupid enemies, and stumble upon a communication room with a BIG mainframe-style computer.

0:13 Time for the obligatory "hacking" mini-game. It's an interesting 3-D ball-pushing puzzle, where I have to press a ball up against obstacles to get to the goal. Relatively simple puzzle, but nice presentation. I get a bunch of health power-ups for my trouble.

0:15 I'm still getting used to this grappling arm thing. My instinct is to jump over obstacles, but I can't do that unless there's something to attach to nearby. It's nice being able to grab far-off items, though, and to pull away the barrels enemies use for cover.

0:18 Exchange of the moment, between two bad guys: "The real weak spot is the rear engine, which of course is a well-kept secret. Besides, who could get in there and start throwing barrels around?" "Haha, you're right -- how silly of me to worry! Hahahahaha!" "ROFL!" "Stop laughing and get off the floor, Private."

0:22 The enemies are getting less stupid by the minute, dropping down from above to shove me out of my position. Also, some of them have rocket launchers now. So there's that.