Developer: EA Redwood Shores

Publisher: EA

Release Date: Oct. 28, 2008

Systems: Wii (reviewed), DS

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

0:00 I liked the original MySims quite a bit, despite never actually going back to spend much more time with it after my initial hour. I hope this one has a little more "game" to it and a little less directionless building/exploration.

0:01 The preview screen has an incredibly cheery piano tune that expands into a trumpet and horn fanfare. I listen to it a few times on repeat -- it's just so vibrant!

0:02 Some quick loading, then some Sims on a wooden ship. They come to a kingdom where the king welcomes them. They build a bridge, then get cupcakes. Back on the boat, one guy is sitting on a cupcake. He builds a windmill and a set of speakers for a DJ. The group gets scared in a graveyard. A castle gets built and everyone cheers in front of a statue of someone. Then a rough transition: "Please connect the Nunchuk to the Wii Remote." Whoops!

0:03 The same cheery music plays over a simple menu screen with stained-glass Sims scrolling in the background. "New Game" or "Load Game" are the only options, and only one of them makes sense to me.

0:04 "Once upon a time there was a great kingdom that covered the entire world." You hear that, kids? Hegemony is great! All the lands were ruled by "a kind and wise king: Me, King Roland." He's humble, too!

0:05 Some Sims are Wandoliers who can pick up stuff with a magic wand and build it somewhere close by. But some of the Wandoliers have wandered away, leaving parts of the kingdom in disrepair. Jerks!

0:06 We start off by choosing a male or female Sim. Changing appearance is as simple as pointing at the hair, eyes or mouth and clicking A.

0:08 After clicking the "Random" option a few times, I finally end up with a look I like, with a goatee and mustache, black hair, cool glasses with a light frame and a pirate-style shirt. Yarrr! I name him Ace, my standard go-to name when I can't come up with something better.

0:10 Panning over the town: A blonde woman in a pirate-type outfit stands at a fountain. A princess is angry and runs out from her castle. A grinning woodcutter smiles at a bird delivering a message and claps. I sweep the walk in front of my house with a frown.

0:11 "HEY, PIG HERDER! You done herding those pigs yet?" It's a valid question Elmira is asking. I bow my head as I shake it. Wait, I'M the pig herder? Yuck!

0:12 My first task is to find the pigs and walk them over to Elmira so they can be happy rolling around in the mud. She's happy with my performance. "Get up early tomorrow, though. I need you to sweep all the mud." And here I was worried this game would be filled with pointless tasks. Instead I get to SWEEP MUD! WHOO!

0:13 "Hey paaaaaaaaal! Ace! PAL!" It's Buddy, the grinning woodcutter. He trips as he runs to me, then says hi to the pigs, causing Ace to give a small chuckle. They're so full of life!

0:14 Buddy invites me out to play with him and Lyndsay, but first he has to deliver invites to the Wandolier tryouts. Princess Butter wanders up in the middle of our conversation. "Hello, peasants. I think we all know that I'M going to be named the new Wandolier. ... Daddy will just LET me win." Wow ... I think I have a new favorite character. Buddy somehow thinks "she's so nice." All Ace can do is shake his head in bewilderment.

0:16 Buddy trips while STANDING STILL, sending the invitations flying everywhere. "Ow! My face!" You can say that again.

0:18 So of course I have to pick up all the invitations. On the way, I run into the princess, who's looking at her mushroom garden and giggling to herself. Is she ... is she high on 'shrooms?

0:19 "Do you like my mushroom garden? I had to have the guest quarters torn up to make room, but I really think it was worth it." You would, you JUNKIE!

0:20 HOLY CRAP, A JUMP BUTTON! I can press Z to jump up to ledges, the game tells me. So I do and ... wow, that's the least impressive jump I've ever seen. Not only is it really short and stubby, but it's badly animated -- there's no sense of momentum or character to the little abrupt hops. They're very utilitarian. Bleh.

0:21 Quote of the moment, from Buddy: "You're good with pigs AND papers, pal -- that's rare!" Yeah, but all the college admissions people seem to care about is SAT scores...

0:22 The pirate-shirted Lyndsay comes up. "HEY! Where were you guys? I've been waiting forever!" She tells us we're going to explore a hidden tomb. Oh, no, wait, she's decided we're entering Ace into the Wandolier competition instead. Wow, she's a total flake. Is she also high on 'shrooms? Too early to say.

0:23 How convenient ... the competition is starting now. I dash off to the castle. "WELCOME, my loyal subjects!!!" decrees the king. The loyal subjects are: the princess and a bored-looking sailor with thick sideburns. His blas? facial expression makes me crack up ... he looks like he'd rather be ANYWHERE but here.

0:24 King Roland just ate a cupcake for no apparent reason. Updates available as warranted.

0:25 First prize in the competition: Wandolier status. Second prize: "A really nice toaster oven." Barney (the sailor) is really excited about that second-place prize. I just may throw the competition myself to get it. Mmmm ... toaster oven!

0:26 The Great and Wise Wizard Norman pops out of nowhere to show us to the training grounds. With an "abra-kadoobee" he teleports us off. "So, who wants a cupcake," the king asks Buddy and Lyndsay, who were left behind. Both of them, of course!

0:27 "Welcome ... to the Isle of Magic!!" Is that like the island from "Lost"?

0:28 We get training wands and have to wander around the island to find chests filled with Mana to activate them. Based on the action so far, they should have called this game "MySims: Wander Around Looking For Stuff."

0:30 I find all the chests while the other competitors wander about aimlessly. They don't seem like they're even trying.

0:32 "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! Who knocked my collectible Kingdom PALS on the ground? Don't worry, little friends, we'll save you." DRAMA!

0:33 So instead of just picking up the stuffed animals with our hands, we have to pick them up with the wands and place them on the shelves. Wow ... what a waste of such awesome power.

0:34 Whoa! I can pick up entire bushes, then press B to just remove them from existence. This power seems WAY too easy for a rogue Wandolier to abuse. Quick, to the fan fiction forums!

0:36 I like how the pieces sort of snap to the grid where they're supposed to go. Makes placement rather simple.

0:37 Contraptions are the first truly new thing that wasn't in the original MySims, besides the jump. Holding down C lets me place a bunch of gears quickly. They rotate pointlessly. Whoo?

0:38 Princess Butter says she "did so good. I'll win for sure." This despite the fact that she won none of the trials. In fact, she just stood there aimlessly the whole time. Stay off the 'shrooms, lady.


0:39 "Our new Wandolier is ... ACE!" What a shock. Well, it is for Butter, anyway. Barney wins the Toaster Oven! DAMN! "Yes!! In your face!" He does a little break-dance and runs off."

0:40 Quote of the moment: "I'm sorry, sweetie. How many ponies will it take to make it better?" She wants a unicorn this time. I'm loving the writing.

0:41 Lyndsay got a magic bag, but Marlon won't tell her what it's for until "the time is right." Er, OK.

0:43 I talk to Marlon again. "Oh, why hello there, Ace! Shouldn't you be off helping make the world a more magnificent and wondrous place?" Man, I ask myself that EVERY MORNING!

0:44 Because I can, I take a nap on the royal sofa. During the nap, I somehow earn two pencils. Do not ask me how....

0:46 After building a bridge, we reach an unscalable wall. We need some stairs. "Somebody need staaaaaaaaairs?" says Marlon as he teleports in. "WIZARD ATTACK!!!" explains Buddy. Heh.

0:47 "YOU CAN'T HAVE MY AXE!" says Elmira, who's nearby chopping wood. But we need the axe to chop down trees to get wood essence to make stairs in Lyndsay's magic bag, of course! Instead of going back to the castle and getting a royal decree, Buddy says I should socialize with her to get my way.

0:48 She starts off neutral. I chat with her and she becomes talkative. I talk about farm tools and she gets skeptical. I poke her and she gets upset. I demand the axe, and she says no and become enraged. I stomp on her foot and the socialization ends. I get one sad essence. It was totally worth it. That what you get for telling me to herd pigs! I'm a WANDOLIER now. I could pick you up and erase you with a THOUGHT! MWAHAHAHA.

0:49 OK, OK, this time I flatter her, read her a poem, give her a hug, and get the axe when she's "super delighted." I also get three happy essences. "Well since you put it that way, you can have all of my tools forever." Man, that never happens when I hug people in real life!!

0:51 Ugh ... chopping trees means swinging the Remote back and forth. Actually, this isn't that bad ... it just takes a small flick of the wrist and the animation ends up being very quick.

0:53 I just slapped Barney in the face and got three sad essences for my trouble. Why? BECAUSE I CAN!

0:55 So I try to build the stairs but it won't let me. Then I talk to Lyndsay and the stair-building areas magically appear. Bleh.

0:56 Butter took the scroll of gearmaking from Marlon and hid it. We need it to open a door. "Ugh! Buttered again!" says Lyndsay. Ewwww. Bad image.

0:58 Oh, for Pete's sake! I socialize the location out of Butter, then I have to go WAY back by her mushroom garden to pick it up. And THEN I need 25 metal essences to use it. Busy work busy work, busy work.

1:00 Mining is actually kind of cute ... I move along the stone wall and press C to tap with my axe, using the tones and colors to determine how close the "hot spot" is. Then I mine the metal with the A button. It's not rocket science, but it's kind of fun, I guess.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.


Why? The gameplay is a little too basic for my tastes, but the cute characters and winning writing might keep me going.

This column is based on a retail copy of the game provided by the publisher.

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