Developer: imageepoch

Publisher: Atlus

Release Date: Nov. 18, 2008

System: Nintendo DS

ESRB Rating: T

Official Web site

0:00 I have no idea what to expect from this one -- I've barely even heard of the first Luminous Arc. Still, the embargo date for this dev build is up today, and I have to play something for lunch, so...

0:01 Japanese singing over an anime cut scene of guys with big swords fighting. A shot of a blue sky and the title appears. A girl sits sullenly on a bench in a garden with petals flying by. A girl in a beret is approached by a pikeman, then runs to someone else. More blue sky. More sword-fighting. Two beautiful people reach for each other through a blinding light. A bunch of flying people pose. More petals flying in the air as a bunch of characters look out over a ledge into ... the blue sky again. Wow, that was incredibly generic. And so many characters!

0:03 "Prologue: Carnava, the Grand Kingdom." Armored knight Gaston comes on screen. "The preparations for the fireworks seem to be going well," his text dialogue reads. A random knight reports that the fireworks display is on schedule for the start of the Star Flower festival. There's a "Witch Conflict" going on, but Gaston says it's still important to have festivals in these trying times.

0:05 Quote of the moment: "Let those manly tears flow!" I swear it made sense in context.

0:06 "Your Majesty ... brighter and more full of life than the sun itself," says Gaston upon reporting to the queen. This part is actually spoken through some over-the-top voice acting. The queen is wearing a skimpy white bustier. Doesn't seem very regal ... "I have waited for you, Gaston," also spoken. Grimm, the head of the info bureau, is there too. Richter, the head of a defense squad, is out defending the city. Grimm gives a report on the Shadow Frost Witch battle.

0:10 Bespectacled Wendell from Engineering arrives late. He has a suitably whiny voice. Steiner, leader of the Stinger squad, is also here now. Sheesh, how many characters are there?!

0:11 Steiner reports that the "beta version" of the Runic Engine is complete. They had beta in those times? Anyway, they need to test it on a human subject. Steiner volunteers to be the guinea pig. What could go wrong?! "I live to serve our Queen!" he yells for no good reason.

0:13 Suddenly the speech turns off as the characters continue to discuss Steiner's brave/foolhardy volunteering through text. Meanwhile, a random knight comes in to announce the arrival of a girl holding a document from the Brilliant Witch. Apparently she's an enemy of the Shadow Frost Witch.

0:15 Deep thought of the moment, from the queen: "... the world changes ... it cannot be stopped."

0:16 Outside, in the training area, the spoken dialogue comes back. "Fool! Are you blind? That strike could have killed you!" says Steven, who then proceeds to assault Rasche. "Gah! Don't kick me there! That's not fair!" We don't actually see where the kick landed, so let's assume he was kicked in the ... knee. Blue-haired Roland walks in. "Ouch! That looks like it really hurt!" So Steven sucker-kicks Roland in the ... knee ... as well. "You bastard!" Rina pops in, upset to hear they'll be patrolling during the festival. "Aww, I was looking forward to enjoying the festival..." For the record, that's FOUR new characters in a couple of minutes!

0:18 Roland wants to train more, which means we might finally stop talking and get to the GAME! Some well-drawn sprites appear on an isometric field.

0:19 Condescension of the moment, from Rasche: "Are you kidding? You don't know how to move?"

0:20 Move stats, jumping, attack from above, behind and to the side, can't walk on water or lava, etc., etc.

0:21 Quotes of the moment -- Roland: "Window? B button? What are you talking about?" Rasche: "Don't worry, I wasn't talking to you." How meta!

0:22 "Stats? Man, I hate all those little numbers ... taunting me..." Sounds like a lot of journalists I know.

0:23 "Now, Roland, go out there and be awesome." Man, how can the dialogue be so cheesy and SO AWESOME at the SAME TIME?

0:24 FINALLY, time to start a real battle. "The Battle Begins!" "Let's do it!" As Roland, I get off the first attack, from the side. I like the nice, big stats that appear overhead before I confirm my attack. I have a 100 percent chance of doing 44 damage. I actually do 45 damage. BONUS!

0:26 Training is over quickly. I like the battle animations -- real old-school. The constant spoken words in mid-battle are kind of annoying, though.

0:27 Quote of the moment: "All the boys are in love with the queen! I'm jealous! I wanna be like her!" Rina is so cute when she's exasperated.

0:29 And so off we go to the Festival Plaza to see the pre-show. Rina's waaaay too excited about the fireworks. Rasche is excited about the queen. Roland is just along for the ride. I'm getting to like these characters ... the translation has a lot of cutesy charm. I wish they'd make up their minds as far as spoken words, though.

0:31 "... Huh? It's rainin' girls," Rasche quips as a random girl crashes into Roland. Seems a big, giant Golem threw her into Roland. "I need to speak with that Witch-in-Training," it says in a very UN-Golem-like high-pitched whine. Whoops, it's actually a cat speaking. "Oh ... a talking cat. THAT makes sense," Rasche says. I love a game that can make fun of its absurdities.

0:32 Tiny white Josie is actually a "Feline Familiar" with the Shadow Frost Witch. The girl is the messenger that was on her way to the queen. Josie wants the message. Battle time! Oh, no, it's actually "run away to Steiner's laboratory time." Rats.

0:34 Rina describes the Golem as "abnormous." Is that like abnormally enormous? That's an AWESOME word!

0:36 I just noticed Josie has a magic staff with a fish skeleton on the end. Awesome!

0:37 Just then, Steiner comes in, to trumpet fanfare! There's a bunch of talk about witchly interferance in human affairs, then Steiner busts out a blue Synth-Lapis, a secret weapon -- it's the Runic Engine! All this talking ... When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory?

0:39 Roland picks up the Runic Engine to hand to Steiner, but it gets stuck to his hand! Oh noes!

0:40 NOW it's time for the battle. We've got Rina, Rasche, Roland (with attached Runic Engine) and Witch-in-Training Althea. Plus Steiner, who seems to be controlled by the computer for some reason. We're battling Four Golems and the cat in the wrecked laboratory. Let's do it!

0:42 Rina's bow can attack from afar, but it takes me a few tries to get her in exactly the right position to hit a nearby golem. Why can't they show the attack range as I move?

0:46 Interesting ... I can do my attack/magic, then move afterwards.

0:47 A selection of the annoying, random exclamations the characters make during battle: "Be prepared!" "A knight does not fail!" "Impossible!" "You cannot hope to win!" "Me-owch!" "Game Over, Chump!"

0:49 Victory! I know it was the first battle, but that was VERY easy. With so few enemies, I could use my powerful magic "Arts" every turn without fear of running out of points. Positioning doesn't seem to matter as much as the tutorial indicated. Also, Steiner is a bona-fide badass.

0:50 Here's a quote you will not see in any other videogame: "Yes! We beat the crap outta that cat and his Golems!"

0:51 A bunch of talk about Roland and his magic Runic Engine hand goes here. Then we're all off to see the queen and report.

0:53 New character alert: Bruener, a nasally, whiny-sounding guy with a ridiculously large purple hat. "Wh-what happened to the lab!? Repairs will cost a fortune!"

0:55 "I heard a Golem was about! How did it evade the Tusk Squad's Iron Wall!" Oh Gaston, you comic-relief lummox.

0:56 So Rasche and Roland are brothers and sons of trainer Steven. I think Steiner and Rina are siblings, too. I'm so bad at keeping track of lots of characters, but I'm really trying here...

0:57 Everyone is saying that the Runic Engine was the key to defeating the invading Golems, but Roland actually was much less powerful than Steiner in our battle. Seems like someone made a mistake.

0:58 The characters discuss possibly amputating Roland's hand to get the Runic Engine back. Awesome.

0:59 Everyone is racist against Witches. Even the good Witches. Did the Wizard of Oz teach us NOTHING?

1:00 The queen proclaims that we'll all help the Brilliant Witch to stop the Witches' infighting and return peace to the land. Roland's going to the Brilliant witch to become a Rune Knight. And that's where we'll end it for now.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.


Why? The story and characterizations are endearingly cheesy, and the battle interface is decent, even though the battles themselves are far from interesting so far.

This column is based on a near-final development unit provided by the publisher.

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