Games for Lunch: Gears of War 2

In a nutshell: Big gear keep on turning ... proud war keep on burning.
11/7/2008 7:23 PM | 1 Comments | Page 3 of 3

0:49 Cut to overhead shots of a massive army gathering in a square. "Humans are no strangers to war. After all we've been fighting for as long as we can remember. War is all we know." All right, we get it! We're a warlike people. Sheesh! Anyway, "It is a fight we cannot continue. Humanity faces extinction unless we end this war now." Doesn't this kind of go without saying? Of course we want to end the war "now."

0:50 "Heard there's a shitload of grubs down there, Sergeant," says Carmine. "More like 10 shitloads," replies Fenix. Just think ... someone had to write that.

0:51 More blather about why we're attacking, as the title appears dramatically. The general continues his speech: If we want peace for our children, we have to "go to where they live and where they breed, and we will destroy them." God, this guy is repetitive. "This is the day we ensure our survival as a species."

0:52 We land and a guy in a cowboy hat welcomes us to "the big suck ... Well, let's go shoot some bullets in those grubs!" New chapter: "TIP OF THE SPEAR: ROLLING THUNDER!"

0:53 A big assault force is riding to land atop big tank-like platforms. Lots of futuristic military-porn shots of the mechanical units and helicopters, with soaring music. Very pretty, I'll admit, but I really just want to get back to the action. Just as I think this, missiles fly in from afar ... incoming mortars!

0:55 The game has turned into a shooting gallery mini-game, as I have to hit the incoming mortar shells with a turret before they hit our platform. They're hard to get a bead on as they twist through the blue sky towards our platform. Before long, our platform gets knocked into a ravine and it's "OBJECTIVE FAILED." Some nice piano music replaces the warlike march. Restart.

0:57 Again I get taken out quickly. I don't think I've hit a single mortar shell so far. This is getting annoying.

0:59 We finally survive the onslaught. The key seems to be not using the slow, hard-to-aim turret and instead just using my rifle to stop the mortar shells. But now floating Reapers are attacking. They'll have to wait for the next hour...

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.

Why? While I can see the stop-and-pop action getting repetitive quickly, so far it's engaging enough to make up for the corny writing.

This column is based on a retail copy of the game purchased by Crispy Gamer.

Be sure to check out the Crispy Gamer review of Gears of War 2.

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