Games for Lunch: Hail to the Chimp
In a nutshell: A political satire made into a farce of a game.
10/23/2008 6:32 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Developer: Wideload Games
Publisher: Gamecock
Release Date: June 24, 2008
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site
0:00 I'm a fan of politics, games and humor, so something that combines all three should be a slam dunk. Still, the
general reception the game got has me less than optimistic.
0:01 Oh, what a shock, version 1.02 of the software has to be downloaded. At least it's only a 24 MB update, so it should take too long.
0:04 Three minutes of downloading and we're done. That has to be a record for the PS3...
0:05 Cut to a deserted island with a large yellow, mustachioed clam. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls ... let me introduce
Hail to the Chimp," says the high-voiced clam. He goes on about how clams have been abused. "Power to the clams ... kneel, things with knees! Kneel before your true masters!" Then, "from the GRR newsroom, it's ... the news." Woodchuck Chumley talks about a democratic election to replace the king of the animals.
0:07 Cut to a commercial for "Just for Gorillas" fur color. "Now silverback is just an honorary title." Heh. Then a stylish ad for Spanish armadillo Santo.
0:08 Back to Chumley, who goes on about tainted dog treats that have chocolate. On the news crawl at the bottom: "More placenta recipes to come." Ew.
0:09 Cut to an ad for Toshiro, an octopus in the desert who "brought the desert back to life by sheer grit and determination." Then a hip-hop ad for plankton. "Eat that plankton like you just don't care, 'cuz they're tiny and they're tasty and they're everywhere ... a message from the Plankton Council." I could press start to start the actual game at any point, but I'm entranced by this satirical take on the news.
0:10 OK, OK, on to Campaign mode. "This is Rusty with the magical green screen that shows the map," says a forlorn-looking turtle. "This is the Ptolemy challenge because only Ptolemy could find it challenging." Huh? What does this have to do with ancient philosophers?
0:12 Ah ... I'm a hippo named Ptolemy. That makes more sense. We're running around trying to collect clams from a riverbed and deposit them in our "Ballot Box." So are the clams supposed to represent votes, or money? I'm confused.
0:14 The octopus and the armadillo team up and start hopping around, knocking me and the other guy out and sending clams everywhere. I struggle figuring out where I can actually stand.
0:16 It took my way too long to figure out that I need to hit triangle to drop off the clams that I collect. Why aren't they just dumped automatically when I get close?
0:19 Once I figure out what's going on, it's quite easy to collect enough clams to win. Punching other candidates is a great way to win votes. Er, not in real life ... but in the game. So far, the interface leaves a lot to be desired, though. It's way too crowded and confusing, while still somewhat sluggish.
0:20 "Ptolemy may have won, but while we have a winner we still don't have a leader, if you catch my drift." Um ... I don't. "Let's review the stats for the last round and pretend moral turpitude doesn't exist." I've unlocked some new videos in the GRR On Demand area. So far these news segments are the only thing to recommend the game for.
