Games for Lunch: Valhalla Knights 2
In a Nutshell: I'm all for the destruction of the gods who made this game.
10/16/2008 6:39 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Developer: Marvelous Entertainment
Publisher: XSEED Games
Release Date: Oct. 1, 2008
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site
0:00 I proudly admit to never having heard of the original
Valhalla Knights, much less its sequel, but XSEED Games was kind enough to furnish a copy, so away we go!
0:01 But first I have to update my PSP's firmware. Oh Sony ... you are so ridiculously predictable.
0:03 The reason for the new firmware? "New effects have been added to the visual player under 'Music.'" This is why I'm wasting my time? Really?
0:06 Complete. That was relatively painless, actually, probably because it didn't involve any Internet downloading.
0:07 The title appears over a starry field. "The Day of Judgment." Quick images of ethereal clocks and angel wings. "We saw a goddess descend ... she birthed a foul being upon the world and cursed mankind with despair. The gods have forsaken us." Heady orchestral music. Some crystals explode. Two knights look at each other. Extreme close up on their faces. "All for the sake of destroying the gods." Man ... melodrama much?
0:08 New game ... I can pick between male and female versions of an Elf, Halfling, Human, Dwarf and "Akatoki," whatever that is. I go with the Human because I'm not feeling that fantastical today.
0:10 There are six selectable face types, each more misshapen than the last. I choose the modified "Cloud Strife" haircut, also called "Hair 2."
0:11 I can be a Fighter, Mage, Priest, Thief or Monk. Fighter seems the default, so why not? It should keep things simple. My default name is "Dynas" ... I'm just going with everything today. I get three stat points to pump in to strength, HP, intelligence, etc. I pump it all in to strength to create the most SUPER-BAD-ASS FIGHTER YOU'VE EVER SEEN. ROAR!!
0:13 In a medieval city, citizens look up to see a floating island. An old man falls to the ground at the sight. "Judgment day, we saw a goddess descend from the heavens ... but she came not bearing good news." A shockwave wreaks havoc on the city. "The gods have forsaken us." A woman in a coat fights the angel with a circular clock of light, which explodes and sends rocky crags up a statue, then explodes. "Humanity may lack power enough to defeat the goddess now, but perhaps in a thousand years' time, we may come to attain it." Uh yeah, but your race has to survive that long, right? "I am prepared to give my life only to gain more time."
0:15 The angel's feathers fly out and hit people, turning them into wolves and flying beasts. "Mark these words. Trust the gods no more. Have you the time to pray, have children and raise them, give them swords and strengthen their minds. Live ... Let nothing sway your will to live. Mankind. To live is to hope and to hope is my plea to you." Is she an Obama ad?
0:17 "Year 1724 Annus Sanctus." An orphanage is being burned down by a "fire of suspicious origins." A girl in an apron is running from the fire, but hurts her leg. My character also ran from the orphanage, apparently. Someone from the neighborhood patrol comes by and openly admits he set the fire. "We're hunting heretics!" She argues the orphanage never supported the goddess. "Save your pitiful excuses for the interrogation." I step up to defend Missy's honor, predictably. Instead of a battle, though, I get knocked down. The girl kneels down to pray and suddenly I'm OK. "You really were heretics!" It certainly seems like it, doesn't it?
