Games for Lunch: DT Carnage
In a nutshell: Destruction Derby mixed with pure awfulness.
9/11/2008 7:01 PM | 0 Comments | Page 2 of 3
0:17 The "Zone" skill seems to invert the colors on the screen, then annoyingly slows down time for about 30 seconds. Who was the genius who thought a driving game should be slow?
0:18 I finish yet another lap and apparently the last remaining car got damaged enough to be totaled. I had 71 percent health left, despite some awful driving (including hitting my own land mine) What an anticlimactic ending. I got 125 Skill Credits, whatever that means.
0:20 Quote of the moment, on pickup items: "If unused correctly, you will receive self damage from the items." I'm pretty sure that's English.
0:22 The steering is incredibly touchy. The car goes from "steers perfectly" to "OMG uncontrollable spinout" on a hair trigger, with nothing in between. Sigh.
0:23 I had to slow down to a stop for 10 seconds just so another car would get in range of my bomb. Also, will someone explain to me how a "jump spot" counts as a weapon?
0:27 I hit my own jump plate and go flipping on my back, like a helpless turtle. I guess that explains how it's supposed to work as a weapon. I can't figure out how to flip over, until I unleash my barrel bomb and blow myself right side up! Hooray for resourcefulness!
0:28 Quote of the moment: "Lose? No way!" Um, who said anything about losing? And who are you talking to?
0:29 The race mercifully ends when another driver hits a bomb. Everything from the basic oval track to the extremely basic items are almost offensively generic. This would barely have passed muster in the mid-90s! Now it's just insulting.
0:32 The "Defense Skill" training involves watching someone else drive, and activating one of two "antidotes" when one of two status ailments hits my car. This needed its own tutorial?
0:33 Quote of the moment: "Whoa! The speed is overriding my senses!" We're only doing 125 mph.
0:35 The Medusa homing rockets look very pretty as they weave in the air and train on the instructor's tail. "Nice aim buddy," says the instructor, despite the fact that 1) they are homing and 2) we are supposed to be in a RACE TO THE DEATH! "Don't be a loser!" he adds, helpfully.
0:37 Barrel bombs finish the job the Medusa's started. That was incredibly easy.
0:38 "YOU'VE GOT A NEW CAR! The Flashback SEQ, a shiny, boxy, orange clunker which I'm pretty sure is not a real car. I also got a black Inifinii PSY (no, that's not a typo).
0:39I can choose my default character from five choices tuned for speed, steering, "balanced," skill or HP. I choose a skillful American named Steward with an awesome fedora on his head.
0:40 An incredibly clunky video explains the game's RPG-style stat-upgrade system, where I can buy upgrades for things like top speed, cornering, etc.
0:44My 320 skill points go an incredibly long way in improving my acceleration, top speed, handling and skill capacity. Skills: quick reflex, corner indicator, clutch meet, power steering.
0:46 I'm off to "Red Devil City" to meet Jeong Ee Geon, the local league boss. Cue a story sequence: "My father was a DT racer. He was said to be the undisputed champion. But last year, he crashed in a Duel Race and ended up losing. That night, my father, who had lost consciousness in the accident, somehow disappeared from the hospital. Everyone thinks he's dead. But, I can't believe that. If I join the DT event, there is hope inside me that I will be reunited with him despite the fact that the race has evolved from those days. This is the reason why I entered myself into the DT event." The static pictures are as cheesy as the text.
