Games for Lunch: Amped: Freestyle Snowboarding
In a nutshell: I'm surprisingly not very amped about this game.
8/26/2008 6:21 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Kyle Orland
Status: "You can't get quality video game editorial from a value menu!" "No, really, you can't."
Developer: Indie Built
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Release Date: Nov. 20, 2001
System: Xbox
ESRB Rating: E
0:00 SSX, which came out about a year earlier, was one of my favorite PlayStation 2 games of all time. So there's no excuse for this to be any worse, right? Right! I'll just be happy if the game makes me forget about the current summer heat.
0:01 Sounds of an old film projector whir about as the title burns away to show real video of snowboarders mixed with video of in-game snowboarders. The real boarders look a lot better. This isn't that surprising, I guess, since they're real, but putting the game right next to real video doesn't make the game look too good.
0:03 I start a new career and I'm asked to divide some stat points between spin, balance, jump, speed and switch. I go for a balanced breakfast of stats because I am incredibly boring.
0:04 Now I can choose from a bunch of extremely generic-looking characters who don't even have names. I'm practically begging for the over-the-top stereotypes of
SSX at this point. I go with the slightly Asian-looking guy, because Asians are good at snowboarding, right? I can't even keep my stereotypes straight anymore.
0:05 Not only can I can choose from four colors of baseball caps, but also a smattering of beanies and bandanas. WHOA! I pick a snowboard that helps my balance, jump and speed ratings a bit. Let's go!
0:06 The world-famous "Brighton 1" is up first. I can pick from two different runs after some quickish loading. "Trick in front of the cameraman to get Media Points. Oh, yeah, don't forget to work on that high score."
0:08 Right off, I notice the frame rate is a little janky. The whole mountain looks a little plain and empty. "Hey, try landing that next time," says a cameraman as I fail to land a trick. "Hey, screw you!" I yell at the TV.
0:10 I complete the first level of the media and high score challenges without breaking a sweat. My world rank ticks up to 124th. So far, the controls are giving me some problems. Every spin has to be landed pretty close to perfectly, which makes the game more "realistic" than
SSX, but also less fun. Using the face buttons for grabs isn't nearly as intuitive as using the shoulder buttons.
0:11 I made the family newsletter, apparently. This news is accompanied by a hilarious, old-fashioned photo of mom thinking about me snowboarding and writing with an inkwell. Then she falls asleep as a chimp reads the newspaper. I can't make this stuff up.
0:12 "Sponsor 1" wants me to "do the tricks the sponsor likes." So I made a family newsletter and I'm already a sell-out? That's, like, bogus, man.
0:14 Apparently, tricks the sponsor likes just means "aerial tricks" which is what I was doing before, by and large. My ranking goes from "bored" to "so so" to "cool" to amped" and back down as I land/fail to land tricks. I end up "cool" at the end. "Not bad, but the sponsor had to leave." GRODY!
0:15 Nothing says snowboarding like smooth jazz. Someone must have thought this, because the guitar-heavy rock soundtrack has transitioned into some incongruous smooth jazz. What the hell?
