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Developer: Maxis
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: June 18, 2008
Systems: PC, Mac
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

0:00 I know this isn't really a full game, but EA is selling it for nearly $10, so I figure it deserves a column. My previous experience with this game is pretty much limited to being live in the audience for this Robin Williams-led demo two years ago

0:01 I'm not including the roughly five minutes of install time in my minute-by-minute count, because I'm a horrible hypocrite.

0:02 I am, however, including the two minutes or so it took to download and install the EA download manager. Fair and balanced, that's me.

0:03 Some gentle bells and synthesizer horns play in the background as I register for a Spore account. I'm KyleOrl if you want to follow my stuff.

0:05 Account registered. There are only two options against a whirling galaxy background: "create a creature" and "load a creature." Well, since I don't have anything to load...

0:07 I'm forced to restart the game to activate a new, higher resolution. This takes a couple of minutes, but it worth it -- everything looks much less fuzzy now. I hope my computer can handle the animation at this level.

0:08 A blue-ish animal torso floats above a pedestal in a forest clearing. Jungle drums play in the background. On the left, an assortment of mouths sit in a menu. Let's play!

0:09 I add my first mouth, a "D'orca," and the torso comes to life, snarling at nothing in particular. Little buttons appear, allowing me to easily rotate and stretch the gaping maw. I decide to give the guy a jutting chin. He looks like a '30s gangster.

0:11 On to the eyes, which apparently don't have to be attached to the head at all. The eight-year-old inside me is tempted to put them on his butt, but the adult in me places them a pair of "periscoptic" eyes atop his developing head. I stretch them out really tall, like a snail's eyes.

0:13 The legs seem divided into "graspers" and "speed" enhancers. I put some "Yumstick" speedsters on the back, "Burly" graspers on the front, and some "Flextor" graspers on the haunches. Yes, I am picking limbs based mostly on their names.

0:15 I just noticed that every feature I add lowers the 2,000 units of creature-making currency displayed in the corner. I still have 1,785 points left, though. Either everything is really cheap or I just pick the cheap stuff naturally.

0:16 I replace the generic front claws with tentacle-like "Succulenders," which are great for succulending, I guess. "Tererwrist" claws go on the middle-arms and the "froggening" flippers go on the back to make my guy more like Michael Phelps.

0:18 I just noticed that my choice of limbs and parts affects creature statistics like health, pose, strike, charm, etc. Shade of The Sims, appropriately enough.

0:21 I seem to have a lot of "money" left over, so I deck my guy out with a variety of horns and tail feathers and such. Despite forcing on as many as I can, I still have over 1,000 points. Sheesh!