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Developer: Takara Tomy
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Sept. 9, 2008
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site
0:00 I know practically nothing about this apparent Gundam rip-off, so my expectations are about as low as they can be.
0:01 Sweeping music as the camera pans over a desolate landscape. With tents! And pueblos! And trees! Really, the camera spends way too long lovingly panning over nothing much at all. When we finally see the Zoids themselves, they seem like slower, more mechanical, less colorful versions of the "Voltron" robots. I suppose giant robots should be slow and mechanical, but
Metal Gear Solid 4 has spoiled me, I guess.
0:02 "8/5/964 in Jamil" is the super-fictional setting. "The ceasefire agreement has been signed. All units stand down," says a voice on the radio, and a bunch of platoons respond with reports of their standing down. On-screen, grainy black-and-white satellite video of some tanks. "I'm glad this war's over. I can't wait to give my kids a big hug!" says a soldier with a heart of gold. One of his comrades tells him he should take a shower first. "Sir, you are the worst-smelling soldier I have ever served with." HA! Then, an abrupt shift to grim political talk. One guy's gonna renounce his politician brother when he gets home, or something. Suddenly, the people talking get fired on. Not that you can see this happening ... the satellite video feed has turned to static. They can't return fire until they get clearance, apparently. This would be much more exciting with better voice acting and video that wasn't just black-and-white snow.
0:05 The video static as we hear the team firing back, without authorization apparently. It sounds like a few Zoids got taken out before they were able to retreat. "What the hell just happened?" That's what I want to know!
0:06 "10 Years Later: The Defector." Now we're in a "full-scale world war: The Three-Year War," according to the text overlay. So I guess we know when it's going to end, huh? Countries Maroll and Jamil are caught in allegiances with the warring empires. Oh... the Three-Year War is actually over? And Marroll's side won? But now there's a cold war. And an incredibly clunky newspaper article talking of reparations. A sample sentence: "Maroll's President Stanhope's diplomacy skills are put to the test, as many citizens of Jamil harbor ill feeling towards their neighbors after the decision to decrease economic aid, citing the loss of over a million civilian lives and billions of Pecasas in damages from Maroll's bombings during the war." Were all the copy editors killed in the war?
0:10 Another newspaper article on "peace demonstrations" and a "Senate council." Switch from silent text to anime-style still drawings of the Senate assembly hall. "Everyone please take your seats." The meeting is classified. "Everything spoken here is not to be mentioned outside these doors." Staff sergeant Jessica Lambert addresses the hall. She's really Alexius Van Clift, a defector to Maroll! The Senate rumbles in murmurs that she's a spy. "Order, order, please be quiet," the Senate leader says in a hilariously whiny voice. She was spying on her father, but her father knew. Her father had plans for an "experimental super-weapon." Now we're getting somewhere! She memorized all 648 pages and fled to Marroll. Her father died as she escaped. Tragic!