Developer: Electronic Arts LA

Publisher: Electronic Arts

Release Date: June 24, 2008

Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PC

ESRB Rating: T

Official Web Site

0:00 I got literally three missions into the original Command and Conquer before quitting the series for good. I'm really, really bad at real-time strategy games, you see.

0:01 Straight to the title screen, with a red globe and a generic looking super-soldier in the background. Meh.

0:02 The controls screen is a confusing mess, with buttons like "selection modifier" and actions like "decrement from building queue." I hope they hold my hand a little bit.

0:03 Boot Camp sounds like a good place to start. "This mission will teach you the basics of how to utilize the interface and controls." Thank God.

0:04 "Welcome to the training scenario, Commander." Click on the training stations to get training info. Duh!

0:05 OK, I know what a mini-map is. I don't need THAT much hand-holding.

0:06 One stick moves the camera, the other zooms and rotates. The rotation is so fast, it's making me dizzy.

0:07 I like how the cursor is magnetically attracted to the units as I move towards them. Of course, this has probably been standard in the RTS genre for a decade or something. Whatever. I'm easily impressed.

0:08 The interface does a good job making it clear what units are selected and what's going on, at least so far.

0:10 I like the simple, radial build menu. Nice big icons and easy-to-access descriptions of costs and benefits.

0:11 The idea of "building" squads in these games always disturbed me. What are we building them out of, a big mound of flesh and DNA?

0:14 The Zone Trooper units have Jump Jets that let them cross impassable ravines, but I have to activate them manually. It's this kind of micro-management that makes me suck at/hate RTS games.

0:15 Engineers can take over enemy structures, but, "The engineer is lost in the process." NOOOOOOO! He was only two days from retirement!

0:17 So far, I'm very impressed with the tutorial. A nice, clear voice guides me through all the options slowly and methodically, but without treating me like an idiot.

0:19 The tutorial is walking me through a sample battle, telling me exactly what to build and who to send where. Very helpful, although I'm sure I'll forget all this stuff very quickly.

0:21 I could be wrong, but my units don't seem to automatically counterattack when they come under fire. If so, it's going to get really annoying telling them to freakin' defend themselves!

0:25 My strategy of selecting all units on-screen and attacking full force seems to be working nicely. I hope this is all that's required of me through the entire game.

0:26 I get 10 Gamerscore points for having "Great Potential." Awww, you're sweet, Xbox Live.

0:27 On to the single player campaign. "Rio is ripe for rebellion. Be its catalyst." Liking the alliteration in this mission description. I'm pretty sure Easy difficulty is all I can handle.

0:28 The year is 2034. An underground room full of electronics is bathed in red light. A guy with a flashlight stumbles around as explosions thunder in the distance. He has a metal plate over half his face, like a futuristic Phantom of the Opera. He turns on a console. "They've abandoned us, my child. The Brotherhood of Nod has been broken. You are the only one who has not forsaken me." This guy definitely has a crazy streak in his voice. "Our technology has failed us. Cabal is no more... though his memory lives on." I'm sure that means something to C&C fans. "Our enemies believe we have been defeated and that I am no longer among the living, but they are gravely mistaken. Together we will raise a great army. PEACE... THROUGH... POWER." He sounds like Che Guevara or something. An impressive live action performance.

0:30 Mr. Half-a-Face has been relegated to a video in the corner of the basic battle view. "Rio is rife with the angry, with the disenfranchised... Soon the flames of insurrection shall flicker... and rise."

0:32 Looks like I'm controlling the Nod for this first mission. All the buildings look different from the ones in Boot Camp, so I'm immediately lost. Great.

0:36 I manage to find and take out a building that looks like the one I was sent after in the briefing, but the mission continues, so I guess it wasn't the right one. More searching, then. The mini-map is kind of hard to read, in practice.

0:39 The game keeps telling me "silos needed," but I can't seem to figure out how to build them. They don't seem to be an option in any of my build menus, and the Tutorial definitely didn't cover them. Grumble.

0:41 I keep getting told that one of my harvesters is under attack, but when I move the camera over, they all look just fine. Where's the "jump to attack" option?

0:44 If I hear the words "Fighters arm up," "We've got the rockets," or "We fight for Nod" one more time, I may shoot myself.

0:47 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL ME WHERE MY HARVESTER IS UNDER ATTACK OR SHUT UP!

0:48 A single tank stumbles upon my base and gets taken out quickly. Was this the guy causing trouble for my harvesters? If so, why couldn't I see it before?

0:50 After a lot of wandering around, my massive force finally comes upon the final enemy base, which is quite well guarded. I send everyone in to attack, but my vehicles outrun my infantry and get taken out real quick. Whoops!

0:53 A show of overwhelming force gets by the defense cannons and takes out the final base. Some new guy comes on the corner video screen. "Who dares challenge our supremacy? The Brotherhood is dead, rotting with the heretic Kane. We are the true heirs of Nod as it is written. Repent! Withdraw! Or join your fool prophet in Oblivion." Mr. Half-a-Face comes back to respond: "And so, as Rio burns, they crawl from the woodwork, the splintered factions, the heretics, the unbelievers. Divided, weak, we shall bring them unity..."

0:55 A computer voice gives my new objective: "This splinter faction dares oppose Kane. Eliminate them." This sounds so out of character for a computer, I can't help but chuckle.

0:58 My base coming under heavy attack from all sides now. I'm marshalling my forces as best I can, but it still takes me a few seconds to remember how to perform specific commands with the controller. Hopefully this would get better as I go, but I'm not sure. Maybe it's just me.

0:59 The game keeps blaring the warning: "Tiberium exposure detected." I have no idea what this means, but it sure sounds bad.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.


Why? It seems well-constructed enough, but I'm just not equipped properly for real-time strategy games. Sorry, EA. It's not you., it's me!

This column was based on a retail copy of the game provided by the publisher.

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