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Developer: Secret Level
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: May 2, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PS2, wii, DS, PSP, PC, mobile, Sega Master System (just kidding)
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site
0:00 I liked the movie and I like Sega, but I'm still expecting a let-down from this one. It is a movie-based game, after all.
0:01 A gadget-porn pan over a pre-rendered Iron Man suit runs behind the menu screen. Some extremely generic light metal music plays in the background.
0:02 The controls screen mentions that the directional pad is used for something called "power distribution." This sounds way too complex for a game like this.
0:03 Difficulties are "Easy," "Normal," and "Formidable." I'm all for giving interesting names to difficulty levels, but you should go all or nothing. Why not "Puny" and "Nondescript" for the first two?
0:04 In a cave full of crates, Tony Stark works at a kiln. "Alone in a cave, surrounded by weapons. That is a very poignant way to die," says that guy from the movie whose name I can't remember. Tony's friend who helps him break out. You know who I'm talking about! "Ah, there he goes again, give it a rest, Shakespeare," says Robert Downey, Jr., er, I mean Stark. The guy whose name is on the tip of my tongue prattles on philosophically about what make a man a hero while Stark lifts the first Iron Man mask out of the kiln and stares at it, meaningfully.
0:05 Cut over to the Stark computer display that gives my mission objectives: escape from the Ten Rings encampment I'm being held in. How am I seeing this computer display? I'm trapped in a cave. Way to break the fourth wall already.
0:06 "Yinsin, you owe me 50 bucks, it works," Stark says as he stumbles out of the cave in his suit. Yinsin! That's his name! "These men were right to kidnap you... they could kill a lot of people with your weapons." Thanks for the plot setup, Yinsin. Still in a cut scene, some armed guys shoot at Iron Man, but the bullets bounce off. He takes them out easily with a flamethrower. COOL! I want to do that.
0:07 I get to do that, almost immediately, in fact. The enemies just kind of collapse when I hit them with the flames, though. Where's the writhing and screaming a burning and ashes? *Pout*
0:08 I don't remember Iron Man being able to run this fast in his original, super-clunky suit. Not that I'm complaining, lumbering around would be no fun, but still.
0:09 "Your suit's integrity is restored by your heart," Yinsin explains over my headset. "A momentary rest can help you." ARGH! What a stupid explanation for a stupid infinite health system.
0:10 I can take out a tank with four rather weak-looking punches. What is this,
The Incredible Hulk?
0:11 Holding B next to a tank activates a mini-game where I have to press B as fast as possible to tear the tank apart. Big excitement here, let me tell you.
0:12 Seems my health isn't quite infinite -- a few hits from tank artillery takes me down. "Power Systems at 0%... system reboot initiated." I get up in the EXACT SAME SPOT I just fell, almost immediately. WTF? Shouldn't there be some penalty for death? I'm not Superman, after all.