Games for Lunch: NBA Ballers: Chosen One

In a nutshell: Choose a different game.
6/25/2008 6:03 PM | 0 Comments | Page 3 of 3

0:38 L. Hughes wins with a five-point play after another redonkulous bounce-the-ball-off-my-head combo. How does he DO that?

0:39 If I had to sum up this game in one word, it would have to be "clunky." The running, the shooting, the blocking, it's all just so clunky!

0:40 I'm still amazed at how bad the shot percentages are. Maybe 20 percent of the general shots are going in, except for the alley-oops, which are like 99-percent perfect. Even the layups are consistently rimming out. It's ridiculous!

0:41 I win a close game 12 to 10. Every single point was an alley-oop again. Now up against Tim Duncan. Same court, same everything. Again.

0:44 Holy crap -- I made a three-pointer! One out of 20 ain't bad, right? Oh wait, IT IS! I made by shooting from a "hot spot" labeled "1" on the ground, but I have no idea what that means.

0:45 Duncan is slightly better on offense, but he still can't stop my alley oops. They're unstoppable! I win the "episode" and I get improved attributes based on what I did the most. Dunks and blocks go way up. Three-pointers, not so much.

0:46 This minute spent loading Chapter 2: "Lock Horns."

0:48 Two-on-two this time, with two, two-minute periods. TWO!

0:50 Period 1 ends with us up 10-6. "That was a funky dunk right there." Not really, it was a pretty standard dunk.

0:52 Marcus Camby and I win 18-14. I'm finding it hard to keep my eyes open.

0:53 Chapter 3: "Free for Ball" is loading.

0:54 Interesting -- this level is a three-player free for all. We all play against each other. Reminds me of high-school games of 21.

0:55 The game doesn't stop at all for baskets in this mode. The players can just pick the ball up from right under the basket and put it up again. This turns the game into a constant, confusing scrum under the basket. Bleh.

0:57 I lose in the middle of a 12-10-4. It's impossible to tell who has the ball most of the time. Grumble.

0:58 I win quickly in the rematch thanks to three unstoppable alley-oops in roughly five seconds. Sigh.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.

Why? NBA Jam is better in every way... and it's over a decade old!

This column was based on a retail copy of the game rented from GameFly.

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